Travel Document Rush

So looks like we are going to Scotland next week to visit my sister Chantal and my nephew Zack! He is 4 months younger than Emmeline and I have never met him before!

We were planning to go over there together, Xavi, Emmeline and I but Xavi’s job is very unpredictable.  We don’t know when a job is going to be accepted, and when it is accepted, he works Monday – Saturday which means there is no time for a holiday! So we have waited and waited for a free few days, but with no joy. We were going to go together in March, but in February another n=job got accepted and so March went out the window. Then the boat that they are working on now had to go to a different marina which means that xavi has to go and work down the coast for a week to 10 days. And so I decided to use this time to go to Scotland with Emmeline and visit them!

Then it hit me that if I was planning on travelling with Emmeline I would need to get her an identity document, her DNI! Freak out!

So it started by waking up at 7am to get ready and leaving home at 8:15 – Emmeline in the Baby Bjorn and my bag filled with milk, water, toys etc fully prepared for a long day! By 08:40am I was in the queue at the ‘Registro Civil’ (Civil Registry) to get Emmeline’s birth certificate. I was kind of hoping that having a baby strapped to my chest would give me some kind of advantage but I was too shy to try. Although the Brazilian man who was behind me was convinced that I should try and see if they would let me in first due to the fact that I had a baby. I meekly went to the front of the queue and asked the security guard if I had to wait in the queue just to get a birth certificate. That was my way of asking if there was any chance that I could jump the queue. The answer was that I did indeed have to wait in the whole queue, therefore No; I could not jump the queue!!

So we got her birth certificate and jumped into a taxi up to the ‘Comiseria’ (Police station) to get her DNI done. But first we had to get her photos done. This involved waking a very tired Emmeline – not a good idea! Eventually got the photos done and off we went, but as I got the comiseria, I realised that I had no money to pay for it, so back out to draw some cash. Back in we went but the lady at the front desk informed me that the ‘Padron’ (document stating where you live) that I have for Emmeline was out of date and that I would need a current one in order to get her DNI.

CRAP!!!!

So back in a taxi, down to the pardon office got a new pardon for Emmeline, back in a taxi and back to the comiseria. Phew!

Then came the 2 – 2.5hr wait. So much fun!!

Eventually we got called up and 10 minutes and 10euros later, Emmeline had her identity card!!

Yaay, we can go to Scotland!!

Car drama

I decided that today was finally the day to go and get the ITV for the car (it is like annual check up of the car to make sure that t is still safe and roadworthy). I have been dragging my heels about it since . . . October when the last one ran out! It is just a total schlep to have to do it and we don’t use the car that often anymore. Even when we go down to Valls to stay at the house or see Xavi’s parent, we tend to catch the train. Xavi’s brother died in a car accident when xavi was a teenager and I had a car accident in Australia where the people in the other car involved both died, so we are fully aware of how dangerous cars and roads are! For this we have no problem catching the train instead of driving, especially with little Emmeline. But alas, the time has come. Th weather is getting better and it would be nice to have the car ready for if we want to go somewhere for the day or the weekend.

I think the real thing that has been stopping me is the door lock. Something so tiny has become a huge obstacle for me. You see, the top of the door lock broke, actually let me rephrase that, xavi broke the top of the door lock! So when they door is locked, you can’t actually open the door from the inside as the lock is broken more or less in half. Now to me, this would appear to be a safety hazard – if there was an accident, the person on the passenger side wouldn’t be able to get out of the car. All I actually had to do was to stop in any mechanic and buy a new door lock. The car is parked in the parking of the marina where we used to live because finding parking in Barcelona is nigh on impossible! And paying for a parking space in a parking garage is much more expensive than paying for parking in the marina. But it does mean a 15 minute metro ride to get to the car! So the whole thing about getting Emmeline in her pram, get down to the marina to get the car, find a mechanic to get a new door lock (driving illegally the whole time as I have no ITV) and then actually having to go and do the ITV thing just wasn’t appealing to me! But as my mom was in Barcelona today, I decided to leave Emmeline with her and just get it over and done with!

I met mom at the metro and we walked over to the mechanic together as Emmeline was asleep in the Baby Bjorn, however for some unknown reason, the mechanic was closed! This posed an even bigger problem as the last thing that I needed was to be driving around (illegally) looking for a mechanic. So I did what any person would do, I super glued the two pieces together and hoped for the best!

I kept checking the door lock the whole way there, opening and closing it – the superglue appears to have worked! Although I was opening and closing it quite gently. If a big brute of man decided to do it, he may break it again. And so I decided, whilst picking super glue off my fingers and waiting in the car for my turn for the ITV, that if someone broke it, I would blame them! “But what did you do? How did you break my door lock? You gonna have to fix that you know!”

I was super nervous and figured my best plan was to play little girl lost, which I learnt from my very own mother and can work a treat when necessary. I got through the whole ITV without a single person either opening or closing the damned door lock

SERIOUSLY????

All that work and worry for absolutely nothing! No-one even touched the door lock, they didn’t even look at it!

Ridiculous!

Happy 7 Months!

HAPPY 7 MONTHS EMMELINE!

My little girl turns 7 months today. How did it go so fast? Where did the time go? It goes too quickly and I am worried that I am not going to remember everything!

Well as usual xavi had to work this morning, but thankfully not for too long. So Emmeline and I got ready and then met him down at the arc de triomf where xavi was waiting for us with Jimi. We all then headed over to Badalona to have a stroll along the beachfront, stop off for some tapas and then to sit on the beach for a little bit and take some photos. The weather was lovely and we stopped at a little bar that had a lovely terrace right by the beach and ordered a few tapas. Xavi knows me so well, as long as he orders me patatas bravas, he can order anything else he wants, just be sure that I get some potatoes! Scrumptious!

The beach was lovely and thankfully the sun decided to show her whole face just as we lay down our blanket! Emmeline seemed mesmerised once again by the water, the waves, the sand and the seagulls! I managed to get some nice shots of xavi and Emmeline and got some of Jimi and Emmeline as well.

Jimi then took some photos of us, and you know what I couldn’t help but notice when I looked at the photos later? I have GIGANTIC boobs! Where did they come from? They have always been slightly larger than some, but this is crazy! I am like a giant frigging milk storage factory! It is no wonder Emmeline turns her nose up at eating vegetables, she has ample supplies of the white stuff in me! Please tell me that they are going to shrink a little when I eventually stop breastfeeding for good? PLEASE!!

Anyhow, here are some of the photos from today

And my personal favourite . . .

Babies, Mommies and Coffee chaos

What a lovely sunny day today! Emmeline and I got up early (she seems to have decided that waking up early is acceptable) and we went down to Barceloneta to meet Katie and Elsie, Suzanne and Julia, Tsering and Elena and Andrea and Julia. We must have been quite a sight – 4 mommies with prams all heading for the beach front only to be joined by a fifth mommy and pram!! I must say that we do get our fair share of looks all seated around a ridiculously inadequate table loaded up with a various array or plates, trays, coffee cups, bottles, rice cakes, food pots, toys, dummies etc. and with babies of all about the same age propped on laps or stuck to our chests whilst somehow trying to eat a very fattening pastry and drink a decaf coffee without spilling it over our babies and managing to not let the babies grab everything and pull it off the table! It is an art! I love meeting up with the other mommies and I find it fascinating to watch the babies interacting with each other! They touch each other’s faces; they grab jackets, arms, hair – basically anything in grabbing distance. They bite, chew and suck their new little friends without any problems and when one cries, the others appear to follow suite quite shortly afterwards!

As for us mommies, we start conversations that get cut off half way the minute we have to quickly turn our attention back to our little ones. We try to find out about the other mommy and not just the other babies, but we tend to forget the answers, once again because we always have half our attention focused on our babies! There is some sort of general routine whereby we arrive, find a table and reorganise, juggle babies in order to go inside and order a coffee, attend to the little ones and make sure that they have something to keep them entertained (albeit only momentarily) relax just long enough to be able to gulp down a coffee and think ‘Thank god my baby seems quite relaxed’ before the inevitable. Your baby starts to get a bit irritable because she is bored, she starts to try to grab everything or put everything in her mouth, she starts to whinge, you look at the clock and realise that it takes so long to get ready, out the house and down here that it is almost time for baby to eat lunch . . . and you still have to get home. Before you know it, all the mommies are starting to pack up the bags and babies in order to head home!! We were seated a total of maybe 30 – 45 minutes!

Gone are the days of having a leisurely drink with friends, maybe followed by some tapas and perhaps another wine whilst watching the world pass you by. Everything is now scheduled; organised and controlled down to the last 20ml of milk that baby did not drink!! It is nothing like it was before, but then I never thought it would be!

Phone call with the other mother

Today was a home day for us. It was supposed to be uneventful, but it turned out to be not so uneventful in the end due to the other mother! It started with me sending her an email and asking for her help with yaincoa and watching what he eats as requested by the doctor (he is between overweight and obese and we have been trying to get his weight down for a year now, but the wicked witch does nothing to help us and does not believe the doctor). He has to complete a weekly ‘menu’ of what he has eaten each day so that he can become aware of healthy eating and so that the doctor can also see what he is eating. We complete ours every week, but despite sending the information to the wicked with about 3 times now, she has never done one, and continues to give him food hat he shouldn’t be eating (i.e., chocolate waffles, chocolate croissants etc). The doctor specifically asked Yain to complete it during his weeks with his mother, and for this I sent her the message via email and text. The following week when we got yaincoa and I asked him if he had completed his menu with his mom he said no, and when I asked why he told me that his mother had told him not to complete it, she didn’t want him to. This plus the fact that she phoned us on Monday to tell us Yain was sick, however when we got him home in the middle of the day, he was clearly not sick. She claimed he had a “temperature” of 37.2 and a really bad cough. He had no temperature and did not cough once, but quite ‘coincidentally’ he had not done his homework on the weekend that was due that day. I was fuming with her and sent her an email to say that although we try and try, she refuses to do anything for us or for Yaincoa. She made a few comments about me to xavi resulting in me sending her a message this morning. She phoned me and we had an argument. She started off trying to be all sweet and serene saying that she didn’t have any problems with us. After a few minutes she was calling xavi a liar ad telling me that we were damaging and traumatising Yaincoa. A few minutes she was childishly trying to make comments about my parents. After that she was then claiming that we are envious and jealous of her and her life. She then swiftly started to insult me and finally she finished the conversation by doing that thing we all did when we were twelve years old by putting on a mock sing song voice while you taunt the other person and then she put the phone down on my ear as I was asking if she as actually 12 years old. What did I say? I told her that xavi was no liar as the truth was that she has never taken her son to the dentist, or the doctors in at least the last 2 years and that she hasn’t paid his support. I told her that she will have to explain to yaincoa one day why she is leaving him with her parents after everything she has said about them, I reminded her that if yaincoa has any issues about body it is probably due to the fact that she told him he has a fat stomach and that at 7 years old she was teaching him how to do sit ups, or the fact that even though he knows he shouldn’t be eating chocolate doughnuts, she keeps buying them for him. I laughed out loud when she said I was jealous of her! I was shaking when I got off the phone but I also felt a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders. Wicked witch and I have spoken once before on the phone and it went more or less the same way – she just continually speaks and I lose all hope with life!

I realised something that I had slowly started to realise before. Wicked witch is incredibly childish! I think this is due to the fact that she has no argument, she is not right, and deep down she knows it although she would never admit it. So when you call her up on something, she tries to throw it straight back at you. Remember when you were in school and you would say something to someone in a fight and they would simply answer the same thing straight back at you? That is her. I also realised with great sadness that she will never ever change. As many times as we try with her and as many different way that we try, she remains the same. This is not good news for yaincoa or for us.

But xavi and I discussed all of this during this week and we have both realised that nothing will change with her. We are trying one more time with the lawyers and after that is she remains the same which I suspect that she will, then we will simply continue doing everything we can for yaincoa and hope that the good we are trying to do will combat the bad that she is doing. We cannot keep wasting our energies with her. I can only hope that one day she may realise all of this and start to do everything that yaincoa deserves from his mother.

Shaky start to swimming

WE FINALLY WENT SWIMMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But let me tell you it has not been and was not easy! Phew. Let me explain as briefly as possible!

So I have wanted to take Emmeline swimming pretty much from the moment that she was born. I bought her a swimming costume when she was about 2 months old and everything, but there were a few problems. She was born in July, a pretty hot month, but not as hot as August! I was on my 6 week 'you can’t do anything' quarantine after having noodle, and so since I couldn’t swim, we didn’t go swimming in July or August. Xavi and I were then planning on a little holiday in September to go down the coast where we could swim with her on a nice almost deserted beach in a little protected bay. Well, work came in and the holiday went out. So by now it was too cold for a little beach swim. I decided that we would go to a swimming pool and have out first little adventure that way. I had joined a gym, but their pool wasn't equipped for young babies. So decided to take her to Barceloneta gym's pool as I used to go to that gym. But then I got sick, and then noodle got sick, then me, then her, then her, then her. So by now here we were in February! I had a baby, a swimming costume and a swimming hat, but still we had not managed to get to a damned pool! I phoned Barceloneta and got the times, and finally today was the day!

Well, it took me 2 HOURS to pack our bag! I had to be sure that I had everything - swimming towels, extra little towel just in case, costumes, hats, shoes, clothing, noodles change of clothing just in case, extra jersey just in case, shampoo, moisturiser, fold up bag just in case, changing mat, nappies, cream, wet wipes, emergency dummy, bottle of water for noodle, bottle of water for me and then the usual, wallet, keys, phones etc. We jump on the metro and then have the short walk to the gym, so 25 minutes after leaving and 2 hrs after deciding to go, we arrive.

Only to get a surprise. And no, not a pleasant one.

I get to the entrance desk of the gym and ask the lady how  much it is for me and Emmeline to enter. She tells me that it is 10.50euro for me and 3.80euro for Emmeline.

WHAT??????????

Well that is just bloody daylight robbery. I let that sink in for a minute and then slowly pull out a twenty to pay her; I have after all come all this way! She looks at me weirdly and I can tell that something has been lost in our little communication. She asks me which pool I want to go to. Sorry but isn't that a little bit obvious with a 7 month old baby strapped to my chest? Not exactly going to the outdoor pool in the middle of winter now am I. So I point to Emmeline and answer 'which ever one is prepared for her'. She pauses and then she hits me with 'Oh, it isn’t open'

WHAT??????????

'But I phoned and you are open Monday to Thursday, 13:00 - 14:00' (don’t even get me started on the fact that it is only open one lousy hour on these days). She shakes her head slowly, 'No, Monday AND Thursday'. My face drops and I start to shows signs of disbelief and serious irritation. Then she "helpfully" asks if I was thinking of going to the big pool. Oh, the 50meter x 25 meter pool that is around 2 meters deep where everyone is swimming laps?? The same pool that is not acclimatised for a 7 month old baby??? The same pool where I cannot even touch the floor??

WHAT???????????

Stupid, stupid girl.

I reply no and I leave. By now I am fuming. I have wasted my whole day preparing and travelling to get here only to not be able to even wet my big toe. Pissing pisser.

Emmeline meanwhile is totally oblivious. Having woken up while we were talking to dumb and dumber in the gym, she was currently doing her best to eat her way through the Baby Bjorn. Good luck with that sweetheart! I remember that there is another gym close by, and so off we go. When we arrive, there is a lady behind the information counter. I see one of the little 'take a number' machines but cannot actually believe that I would need to take a number, I am in a gym! So I go up to her, 'Hola, can I ask a question'. She tells me that I can. So I start to ask her if they have a baby pool. I managed to say 'do you have . . . ' before she told me no, she couldn’t answer right now, she was busy. But I just asked if I could ask you something and you said yes! Did you think that I was going to leave thinking 'great, if I have a question, I can ask her' or did you think that I had a 16:00 question and not a right now question? So I patiently wait while she taps away at her computer. Eventually she looks up, smiles and goes 'yes?' so I start to ask my question again, when along comes a man who works there to give her tokens or something. She immediately turns to this guy to help him leaving my question hanging there only half asked. She comes back, smile and goes 'sorry, yes??' so I do the whole thing again. The phone rings and she picks it up. By now I am wondering if the cosmos is having a laugh at my expense. Eventually I manage to ascertain that they do have a baby pool, it is open, although Emmeline doesn’t have the exact swimming costume they want, she does have one that has plastic lining, so we can go swim. For 11.50euros. Just take my money already and let me swim please.

We go to the change room and then there is the dilemma of getting myself dressed while Emmeline waits on the changing table. A few well meaning grannies kept telling me to be careful that she didn’t roll off the table. Obviously this is possible, but Emmeline tends to not roll that way, and if I have one hand on her the whole time, please can someone explain how I manage to get myself dressed, her dressed, all our clothing in the bag, and the bags, shoes jackets etc in the locker that is over there? I am not Inspector Gadget with my own personal set of go go gadget arms.

Eventually we get into the pool! Oh she loved it. She was quite silent at first, and then she started to laugh and screech in delight! We went swimming up and down and she really seemed to enjoy it! So much so that she decided to try to drink the pool water like a little puppy dog! I worked up the courage to dunk her under the water with me and she was a little shocked but I quickly blew into her face, she breathed in and smiled about it! That’s my girl! We got some toys and played with those, until she decided to try and eat them. No, we don't eat the toys in a swimming pool where who knows how many other mites have been chewing on them. So we swam some more and had another little dunk under the water. She didn’t like that and made little cry faces as she had managed to swallowed water. So we didn’t do that again. I did notice that when I picked her up she did hold onto me tighter and when I had her sitting on my legs submerged up to her chest she did hold onto my hands very tightly. Bless her! We got out after about 25 minutes and she just seemed so content at having her first swim!

Now came the hard part of trying to somehow shower her and me! It resulted in me more or less showering her and shampooing her and me just dunking my head and body under the water whilst Emmeline sat on my hip making huge smiley faces at the ladies showering and making all of the go 'aah'. Got us dressed somehow managing to keep a hand on her most of the time for the benefit of the grannies whilst she chewed the hell out of her chew toy and occasionally stopping to make gooey smiley faces at the ladies in the change room. Flirt.

I got her in the Baby Bjorn and my little noodle was out like a light before we had even got to the metro! We had a shaky start, but in the end we had a fabulous time swimming.

Meeting of the babies

Ooh, we went to our first little mommy / baby meeting today! Well, obviously met up with other mommies and babies up until this point - Carrie and Emilia, Katie and Elsie, Andrea and Julia, but not on such a large scale!

Emmeline and I met up with Katie and Elsie and went over to Imogen's flat - what a beautiful flat!

We were some of the first mommies there, but by the end there were 8 or 10 mommies and their babies! All the mommies were very friendly and all of the babies were lovely and all around about the same age. It was fantastic to be able to talk to other mom's about what we were going through with their babies and to be able to share my experiences or any advice I may have. Although I only have advice about what I have done with Emmeline, I have no idea about other babies! it was also nice to see the various stages of development amongst the babies and for me, it was good to see Emmeline’s size in comparison to the other babies after the whole thing about her not gaining weight or growing much. Honestly, she looked about the same size, bigger than some, smaller than others! So now I worry even less about what the paediatrician said to be honest (although it is true that she has definitely gained weight since our last visit)

It was also nice to see little noodle interacting with other children. She seemed a little quiet and amazed at all the other little babies at first! These are the most babies she has ever seen. Then she saw a green and yellow frog and her interest in the babies disappeared and she was focused only on trying to eat her way through the frog! On the upside, she did not make a fuss when one of the other babies took something she was playing with – hopefully this means she will be fine with sharing! On the down side she did grab poor little Elsie’s face at one point! Thing is, Emmeline has a habit of reaching out to touch people and their faces. The problem is that every now and then her tiny baby fists close around whatever she has gotten hold of, generally my nose or my eyes. This is not a problem if you are an adult, but quite another story if you are a 5 month old baby! I had to watch her hands pretty closely! Although at one point she was very gently playing with one little boy’s hair! It was very cute until her hand got stuck in a knot, she pulled, and unfortunately she hurt the little boy! Mental Note: Must try teach Emmeline to not grab and squeeze!

Feeding time came and saw a frenzy and boobies, bottles and bibs! I had bought a bottle with noodles left over cereals from that morning although as I was feeding her from her bottle, my boob got confused and I sprung a leak, typically on the day I forgot to put in my breast pads. Katie pointed out the faux pas and thankfully had some spare breast pads for me. Quick change of t-shirt and the problem was fixed! At least it happened in a room full of people who totally understood!  In the end down went the bottle and I got noodle to empty me out a little!

We left after a few hours and Emmeline passed out in the baby Bjorn as soon as we got out to the street! All that playing!

It was great, and there is another next week! I have already started to think about when we can host one! I might even be all domestic and make cupcakes!! Any excuse to eat cake!

Valentines

Happy Valentines Days! 



Image taken from www.angel-stardust.com



If I must be honest, I am not a huge fan of Valentine’s day. It is too commercial and there is too much hype and expectation. The whole 'will he buy me a gift or not' is just setting everyone up for failure! Your poor boyfriend gets slaughtered if lo and behold he didn't get anything and you convince yourself that he does not love you because he didn't go out and buy you a million roses of each colour. Why? So they say it is the day of love and to tell the person you love how you feel? Well what about yesterday and what about tomorrow? Is it not as important to say I love you on those days? Does it mean any less if your boyfriend buys you a rose next week, or would it actually mean more because it is a day that he is not 'supposed' to buy you something. I can guarantee that you will feel more special when he comes in with a gift for you 'just because' and not because hallmark said he must buy you something!

Xavi and I have never done too much on Valentine’s day as we both feel the same about it. But even we have had our dilemma of 'is he/she going to buy me something?' Not because we need it as a confirmation of our love, simply because we need to know if we need to pop out to the shop to go and get something as well. We tend to only buy small things for each just as a little gesture. This year was no different.

I woke up earlier than usual thanks to little noodle not sleeping so well. So yaincoa came in and gave us a piece of paper that xavi had made with a little Valentines message and little hearts on it. They said good bye and off they went. I had already decided that once Emmeline had woken up from her first nap around 11:00ish, we would go and take a walk to buy a little something for Xavi and give it to him when he came home. However due to the rain, Xavi came home early and found me having just put Emmeline to bed and me still in my pyjamas with unbrushed hair and teeth.

Sexy and romantic.

He bought me this lovely wall clock with a 1920's style couple smooching, a big heart behind them, and an orchid in a little glass vase. So sweet!  I told him that I had to go down and buy . . . baby milk (couldn't think of anything else!) He sussed me out and told me to not bother, but I carried on with my baby milk story and off I went.

I know that he like photos but that we don’t have any printed and in frames as they are all on the computer. So I decided to get some of us printed and buy some cheap frames for them. And since he was feeling really down about saying goodbye to Yaincoa this morning (he is with the wicked witch this week), I decided to get some photos of Yaincoa, Emmeline and us as a family printed with frames as well. Well I got them printed, bought some cheap frames, came home and told xavi all the supermarkets had closed due to the rain - hence I had no baby milk! He laughed! I locked myself in the office and cut the photos and framed them. If I do say so myself, they looked very nice.

I came out and gave them his photos, and chewy sweet thing in the shape of a rose, and a tiny box of chocolates which he shared with me (actually I think that I ate almost all of them).

He loved his photos! They meant something really special to him and he kept looking at them all afternoon.

He made me dinner tonight and we spent the evening chilling together. It was a good day, but even if there was no exchange of silly little gifts, it would have still been a great day. I don’t need Xavi to tell me he loves me today or make me feel special today. He does that every other day, today is no different!

Mommy guilt

So as you may know,  Emmeline has been quite sick these last few weeks, fist with diarrhea and then with unexplained fever. However before all of this, she has had about 5 colds in her very short life span. I remember the first cold that she got at 2 months old, it broke my heart. Since then, she has had one every month more or less. At first I thought nothing of it, but by these last few days, I started to suffer from a bad case of mommy guilt. Why was my baby getting sick so often? I started to ask myself what I was doing wrong. What could I do to make it better? I know other people with babies al around the same age and none of their babies appear to get sick as often as Emmeline, so why us? It is more than just the fact that my poor little noodle gets sick so often. The problem is that every time she gets sick, all of our steps forward go backwards! We had started on solids, but the minute Emmeline got sick, she started to scream every time we had to eat. She had also started to sleep a little better, more deeply and wake up less, but she gets sick and suddenly she is waking up every 1 - 2 hours again. I felt like we were being hindered by every cold! I had been planning on taking her swimming for ages, but just as I got all the information together and had bought her hat and costume, she got sick, and then sick again, so we still haven’t been! Then I heard from my sister that she had taken my little nephew Zack swimming. I felt such a pang of envy!

All my mommy guilt and sleep deprivation started out build up making me feel worse and worse and feel like I was doing something wrong until today when I woke up in a total slump. We had a bad sleep last night with Emmeline waking every 2 hours just whinging. I felt exhausted. We did breakfast but she wasn’t being the easiest eater and in the end I literally threw the bowl in the sink and went for the easy option of breastfeeding her so save ourselves a little fight. Xavi works 6 days a week, so I am with Emmeline a lot obviously! And whilst I always knew that having a baby was not easy and whilst I knew about the sleepless nights, crying and nappy changing, I did not realise how exhausting t was looking after a sick baby. You have to give your everything because they demand nothing less. They feel like crap and they want you to either make it better or they want you to be around them all the time as that makes them feel better even though they are still sick.

I decided to do what everyone does when in doubt, I googled "why is my baby always sick" and I stumbled upon a forum of other mommies talking about why their babies always got sick. Reading one mommies post made me cry because it made me realise that I am not alone and that I wasn’t doing anything wrong . There are other babies who also seem to get cold after cold after cold! It wasn’t just me! The forum commented that even though I was exclusively breastfeeding my noodle and that is the best immunity for her, I was only giving her my immunity, and so if I didn’t have too much immunity against colds, well I have nothing to give Emmeline. It made sense! They also mentioned that if there were older children in the house, they could be carriers of the various cold viruses. This also made sense! We have yaincoa every other week, and due to his mothers total lack of care of her child, he has had one cough or the other for weeks now and as much as I ask him to try to look after himself a bit better, he is only 8, and so I don’t think that I will make much headway there. But whilst he does have a cough, he doesn’t always have a cold. But he may be a carrier.

I suddenly felt a bit better, this made sense and there were other mommies whose babies also seemed to get colds all the time, I wasn't doing anything wrong! I looked over at the little cupcake sitting next to me on the sofa and scooped her up showering her with kisses!! New mommy guilt is a powerful thing and I think one that will stay with me throughout Emmeline’s entire life. I am sure that I will always feel guilty about something and wonder if I could be doing more/better for her. I think that that is good; it is what helps us to strive to be better mothers. I think of the wicked witch (Yaincoa’s mother) and how she is convinced that eh is doing the best for yaincoa (and therefore does nothing more) and how nothing could be further from the truth. If she suffered the same mommy guilt she would be doing so much more for that little boy. I think of all the mommies like me who suffer from mommy guilt and I think we are on the right track, and that by feeling this guilt, we will always try to do more for our babies. They deserve it; they deserve the best we can do and more!

A Hard Week

So last Friday we had Emmeline’s 6 month vaccinations plus a private vaccination (Synflorix) which meant that in total, she got 3 injections! I felt like such a bad mommy for allowing this to happen to my little angel! But I thought that at least that way all done and dusted, and she would be protected! Well, the first injection went fine, the second bought a few yelps, the third bought several more, however the crying stopped after only a few seconds! Good girl.

Emmeline never had any reactions to vaccinations before so I was not worried, but on Friday night she started to get really irritable and pissed off with everything. When I picked her up I noticed that she felt much hotter than normal so I took her through to the bedroom and took her temperature, 38.5c. oh dear. I decided to get her bathed and to bed as quick as. She was fine in the bath, but by the time we were dressing her and drying her hair, she was screaming at the top of her lungs. My heart broke knowing that I could do nothing for her except give her medicine and hope that she fell into a long and deep sleep! That was the night that Xavi was going to feed her and put her to bed for the first time as we are now doing cereal in a bottle and not breastfeeding. But he saw my face and he said he would do it another night, he knew that all I wanted was to hold my little girl in my arms and try to make her feel better. She didn’t sleep very well and at 4am her temperature had risen to 39.1c. I bought her into bed with me and hardly slept a wink. The next morning after consulting my book and the internet several times, I knew that there was no need to go running to emergencies and that I should continue with her medicine. I did just that and we continued our day as per usual going to meet daddy. Her temperature dropped in the middle of the day, but rose again in the afternoon and the evening. Once again, she did not sleep very well, waking every 2 hours, something she only does now when she is unwell.

Sunday passed us by the same, Emmeline with a fever. She managed to remain smiling mostly, but was also a lot more weepy and irritable than usual. Monday morning and she still had a fever. I decided that I was tired of waiting so I got an appointment with the paediatrician for that same morning. Off we went. The paediatrician checked Emmeline and said that it may be a delayed reaction to the vaccinations, but that normally only lasts for about a day. But she also noted that Emmeline had no other symptoms, she was bright and alert, and she was still as friendly as ever. So I was told to monitor her temperature every 6 hours and if she continued with a fever, I was to return on Wednesday morning to do a urine test to see whether noodle had a bladder infection. Tuesday was the same, although there was a drop in the middle of the day. I got hopeful, but back with fever in the evening. Wednesday morning 9am and there we were at the paediatrician again. She had to stick a plastic bag around noodles cookie to catch her wee when she had one do to the test. So I could only loosely put her nappy back on and only put her socks on, no pants. We went outside to wait; I wrapped a blanket around her legs and fed her hoping to speed up the process. She was tired and started to get irritable. With her semi naked there was no way that I could put her in the pram to sleep and I certainly couldn’t walk up and down to get her to sleep. So although we have banished the dummy unless it is bedtime in the evenings, I found myself reaching into the bag for the emergency dummy I carry everywhere! This in my mind was definitely an emergency. I popped it into her mouth, and noodle was out like a light! When she woke up her little bag was full, but the paediatrician was busy! So we waited and as soon as she was free we went in. Unfortunately by this time, some of Emmeline’s wee had leaked out the bag and onto my shirt. Mmmmmm. Thankfully there was still enough to do the test! Turns out that there is no urine infection, yaay!

So we still didn’t know what was wrong. The paediatrician told me to go home and continue to monitor it. If she continued with a fever, I would have to go back on Friday morning for urgent blood tests, but she assured me that she was not worried as Emmeline had no other symptoms, she had good colour, she was in good spirits and she was bright and alert. It’s true that that morning she didn’t have a fever. Although that afternoon she did! But in the evening there was no fever and so far today, no fever! She is very irritable today and she has literally been growling at me all day, crying a lot more than usual and sleeping more than usual, so I have given her some medicine and hope that it helps. Hopefully she is on the mend as I hate to see my little girl sick! I feel awful for her! And I really don’t want to have to cart her off to the doctors tomorrow for analysis because that will mean another injection, and I think that she has been through enough already!

This week has been hard not just because I wish that there was more I could do for Emmeline, but also because it has been exhausting for me. She has had a week of fever more or less, and before that she had about a week of diarrhea! She has been waking up every night between every 1 – 2hrs in the last 5 days leaving me feeling zonked out again. During the day she is still napping, but she does not want to be left alone for even a minute. So on various occasions xavi or I have had to sit with her until she falls asleep. She is also not content to sit alone and play as much as normal, so she has been by my side a whole lot more than normal. And feeding her has been a total nightmare. We started on solids and before she got sick, she was kind of accepting things. But on the weekend especially she screamed blue murder at us when we had to feed her. She was having none of it! I can tell that she is getting better as she has been much better at eating yesterday and today thankfully! I am totally exhausted and really need to have a rest myself because being so tired means that I am not at my best for her. It means that when she wakes up every hour like she did last night, I am too tired to investigate what is wrong and instead I reached for the easy solution that was to simply feed her. Therefore even though I have not been to the gym in way too long and I really want to go, I know that the best thing that I can do for everyone is to go for a nice (if possible) long sleep with Emmeline this afternoon for both of our benefits! Actually scratch that, me sleeping is actually in everybody’s benefit! I will also shower my angel with plenty of hugs and kisses and hope that tomorrow she wakes up my little Emmeline again!

Fashion frump

Ok, so I have been looking at various mommy and baby blogs in the last few days and I have noticed a certain trend with lots of these blogs.

The Fashion Section.

Almost everyone has a section in their blogs where they have posted these great photos of themselves wearing cool/eclectic/vintage/trendy clothing with very nice shoes and then photos of their cute little toddlers and/or babies wearing equally cool/eclectic/vintage/trendy clothing with very nice shoes!

Why? Am I missing something? I don't mean to be rude, but really, why?

And who is taking these photos of these beautiful people?

It's more. Every time I see these posts and I pore over tons of gorgeous photos with gorgeous people and gorgeous clothing, I feel worse and worse about myself. I start to wonder if I am the only mother who owns 3 pairs of tracksuit bottoms (it is winter after all) that simply get rotated throughout the week. They vary in stages of cleanliness and some have green bean and cereal stains on them that I have not yet removed (Emmeline is learning to eat, I clean them today, she throws food on the tomorrow). I have various tops to wear around the house, but most are baggy and some now have a tie die appearance from when I washed them with the fuchsia bathroom mat whose colour ran all over the other washing. Twice. I could 'dress up' and wear my jeans, but they cut into my post pregnancy stomach and since my t-shirt seems to be wrapped around my chin a dozen times a day either breastfeeding or expressing milk, I don’t want my saggy belly hanging out over my jeans. It makes me feel like crap. Hence the tracksuit bottoms. I am not a slob by any means, I shower every day, I have clean hair etc. But honestly some days it takes me a few hours to get a chance to brush my teeth and change out of my pyjamas because I am running around trying to get a coffee and a bowl of cereal shoved down my throat before hauling arse to prepare Emmeline’s cereal and then fight the fight of trying to get her to eat and swallow her cereal. Then there is the cleanup of her and me, then finish off her breakfast by offering booby as a large part of cereal inevitably ends up everywhere but her mouth. Then there is changing nappies and clothing, and getting the cereal out of her nose and her hair and by this time it is nap time and I am still running around in my pyjamas with smelly breath and my fringe standing up like a little thatch roof over my forehead hoping like hell that no-one knocks at the door to see me in this state. Once Emmeline is asleep I have half an hour before she wakes up to de-thatch my fringe, get myself cleaned, clean some random part of the house and wash the dishes. I don’t have time to straighten my hair or apply makeup and put on nice shoes and stand in a corner with my perfect daughter and take photos for my blog!

Now don’t get me wrong, the tracksuit bottoms DO NOT leave the house unless it is to go to the gym, only then is it acceptable! Ok then, perhaps also the quick dash to the corner shop on a Sunday afternoon! But I also get dressed up, I put on my nice shoes, I even put on makeup. But I don’t take pictures.

I wonder if all these beautiful mommies and all their beautiful children get dressed up like that to stay in or is it simply to go out. I reckon it must be to go out, that would be far too much hard work to maintain that look whilst running after little babies who are throwing their veggies on the floor. Or is that just my life?

Actually who am I kidding? Even when I dress up to go out, I don’t look even half as good as they do!

Am I doing something wrong as a stay at home mommy? Am I the only one who lives in tracksuit bottoms at home? Should I be rushing out to buy myself a pair of laundry day heels?

But if I don’t, and I continue to live in my tracksuit bottoms until the weather gets nicer, please can I still be part of the mommy blog club?

February Fun

Oh what a lovely weekend we have had! Xavi had to work on Saturday morning as usual but we decided to meet him around 11:30 down in Barceloneta beach for some tapas. This was perfect timing for me and noodle as it gave us a chance to do our breakfast thing and get dressed and for me to change 5 times before eventually deciding of something pretty to wear that didn’t huge my post baby belly! We opted for dresses and tights today! We met xavi and then later a friend or our Jimi came down as well. We had some lovely tapas and I treated myself to a cheeky little glass of wine. Although Emmeline got very cranky as she was tired and started to cry rather loudly. So I put her in her pram and took her for a walk along the beach hoping that would relax her and she would fall asleep. Well No, it didn’t. If anything, it irritated her even more that I have the nerve to put her in the pram instead of picking her up which is what she clearly would have preferred! So to teach me a lesson, noodle decided to scream even louder and harder. Yaay. I looked down and gently talked to her to try to relax her and mostly jsut so that I wouldn’t have to look at the people who were looking in our direction. I put my shawl wrap over the pram to block out the sun as she seemed to increase the level of her screaming every time the sun hit her face. We walked and walked, she screamed and screamed, people looked at me as if to say ‘how can you just leave her’. Eventually I couldn’t stand it any longer and picked her up. she stopped crying immediately. However I realised that her behaviour was due to the fact that she was sick and when she is sick she doesn’t want to be left alone. I went back to the table and the boys paid and off we went. I decided to not risk putting Emmeline back in the pram so I carried her while xavi pushed the pram. She nodded off and I have to say that I do love it when she falls asleep in my arms! The rest of the afternoon was spent chilling at home!

Sunday came and we then decided to catch a bus up to Montjuic and go for a walk. It was a lovely day and Emmeline was playing nice even though she was still sick. We took a lovely walk past the Olympic stadium and the museum and I got some nice photos of Emmeline on daddy’s shoulders and then biting the hell out of daddy’s ears! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

We decided that instead of catching the bus back, we would simply walk home! It took us a total of about 1.5 – 2 hours, but it was a lovely walk and this is a great city to walk around. I will never get bored of it! The added bonus is that Emmeline had a 1 hour nap in her pram! We met Jimi for a few tapas in a great little restaurant jsut around the corner from the flat and I munched on some lovely potatoes with allioli, yummy! Once again, we spent our afternoon relaxing at home.

A wonderful weekend! Now all we need is for little Emmeline to get better!

Beachtime fun!

I love living in Spain! It is winter and I should be bundled up inside because it should be freezing right? NOPE! Today me and my little noodle Emmeline went to the beach!

We had Emmeline’s 6 month vaccinations today and as the hospital is across the road from the hospital, I decided to take Emmeline for her first ever excursion to the beach! I grew up in Durban, South Africa and was always on the beach or in the swimming pool and Xavi was the same. Actually xavi more as he swam for the state, so he is a real water baby as well. And so we are hoping that our little miss enjoys the water and the beach as much as us! Anyway, I miss the beach! Although I only live a 15 minute metro ride away from the beach, I don't go nearly as often as I would like to go. My dream is to live in a nice house super close to the beach one day!

I headed for a spot that was close to the water and off we went. I lowered the pram onto the sand and pushed . . . except that although I pushed, the pram didn’t move. Hmmmm. I pushed more using my knee to ‘nudge’ the pram forwards as well, but still no joy. We weren’t going anywhere like this. By now I started to feel like a bit of a moron and was sure that the thousands (well maybe not so many) of people walking past were looking at me and just going ‘oh look, the first time mother who doesn’t know what to do! Of course she can’t push her 3 wheel pram in the sand. Idiot.’ Eventually I realised that I would need to turn around and drag the pram whilst walking backwards, trying to look cool and not fall over. Alright then, let’s go, it will be totally worth it to show little noodle the beach!

Somehow or another I managed to not fall over at all, phew! I propped Emmeline on the blanket and laughed out loud as I watched her face totally mesmerised by the waves and doing her best impression of a puppy with his head out the window every time the breeze blew in her face! Priceless! I buried her feet in the sand and then filled her hands with sand; she sat in silent awe every now and then just giggling! Her face lit up when the pigeons walked past but it was still the wind that tickled her the most! And me, proud mommy, sat taking a hundred photos from every angle, getting sand in my face, my socks and my pants without a care in the world (until the walk to the metro) taking photos of my little princess.

I stopped for a moment and had a look around me. I noticed a lady sitting in a deck chair with giant headphones on listening to music. Normal. I then noticed that she was waxing her legs with a cordless electric waxer . . . not so normal. She then put down the waxer, pulled out a mirror and started to pluck her eyebrows . . . again, not so normal. I watched with fascination wondering who would actually do that. I then looked down at Emmeline with her hands and feet in the sand. I looked back up at crazy lady and thought “hmm, all those hairs that you are ripping out of your body are gently flying away and landing on the sand. Hmm, that would be the same sand that my daughter is currently playing with and has all over her hands and feet, the same hands and feet that she seems to have stuck in her mouth on an almost permanent basis . . .” needless to say, I very quickly dusted off her hands and feet and put her slap bam in the middle of the blanket far away from hairy sand!!

A fun, interesting and slightly gross day!

The long road to the solids

So we have almost gotten through emmelines first week of solids and it has been . . . well I don’t really know what word to use as I didn’t really know what to expect to be honest with you! The week has been emotional and stressful and exciting and scary!

We started on Saturday night with some cereal mixed into a bottle of my milk and ‘leche de continuacion 2’ – continuation milk for babies. I filled up a bottle, not overly hopeful that Emmeline would drink much, but willing to give it a go and hope for the best. I was hopeful that she would drink it all up partly because it was the first step on that wonderful road of food, but mostly because I REALLY, REALLY want her to start to sleep through the night! However, Emmeline has only ever drunk from the bottle a handful of times in 6 months, and she finds it more enjoyable to chew the teat and not actually drink from it! This coupled with the fact that it was something totally new left me feeling very doubtful!

As I guessed, she only drank 20ml before hunting for booby! Oh well . . . Breakfast the next day was interesting. I had honestly not thought about the logistics in feeding a baby or the hurdles that I would be faced with. I propped Emmeline up in her little pink bumbo chair and put on a pretty pink bib. I mixed her cereal in her pretty little princess bowl and got out her matching princess spoon. I put her bumbo chair on top of the table in the lounge and started to feed her, a huge content grin on my face waiting for the joy of my little princess gulping up her cereal.

Or not.

I headed for her mouth with the spoon filled with (actually quite delicious smelling) cereal, but Emmeline decided that looking at daddy was more interesting. Or she decided to fling herself backwards rather dramatically to look at the TV upside down. Or she decided to try to grab the remote control/my mobile/ tissues/ wet wipes/ anything she could see. Down went the bowl, off went the tv, out went daddy, away went everything she could see except me and her bowl of cereal. I tried again, but we had a problem. I seemed to have a baby that did not know how to open her mouth. Eventually as she let out a yelp of irritation at me jabbing her mouth with the spoon I got the spoon in her mouth lighting quick. She looked a little confused as to how that happened. Once food was in though she pulled the most incredible faces of disgust like a real little drama queen. I told her to stop being so dramatical about everything, but she continued. I managed to get quite a few spoons in before she started to do her Stevie Wonder impression and shake her head from side to side. She was covered in cereal, her chin, her cheeks, her nose, in her nose, her forehead, her eyes, her hair, her hands, her clothing . . . oh, and my hands, my arms, my hair and my clothing.

This was not how I imagined it!

Then came the vegetables.
Oh dear.

Carrots and potato, sounds alright doesn’t it? Not to my little noodle it doesn’t. We got the first spoon in there fairly easily as I think she thought that it was cereal. Oh but the minute that she swallowed we got the gagging, the shivering and the mock vomiting movements. Seriously child, IT’S NOT THAT BAD! We got more in much to Emmeline’s total disgust and then she started to protest. Problem for her was that every time that she opened her mouth so widely to protest, we would stick another mouthful of veggies into her mouth. We finished up with carrots everywhere!

The next day’s cereals resulted in Emmeline abruptly finishing the meal by blowing bubbles every time I put a mouthful of cereal in her mouth! More clothing in the washing. I see that I am going to have start to do washing more often.

That afternoon was green beans and potato. I HATE green beans and so I totally understood her screams!

Emmeline seems to have very quickly learnt a new trick. She doesn’t close her mouth when I put food in there. That way, she doesn’t swallow. And that way the cereal, veggies and banana simply fall out her mouth and onto her bib, arms, legs, hands, chair, tray, table, floor etc. I can only pile so much in her mouth before it is too full and I have to wait hoping that she accidently swallows before remembering that she has food in her mouth. Or xavi dangles the mobile phone in front of her up high so that she tilts her head up trying to grab the phone and hopefully the food will just fall down her throat. We have had about 50% luck with this one.

Gonna have to buy many, many more bibs.

I wonder when and if my child will ever learn how to eat properly? I am now like a prisoner in my own home as we cannot really do very much these days due to meal times. Before we could go anywhere and as soon as she got hungry, out came a booby and lunch was served. No mess, no fuss and only some embarrassment when Emmeline would pull away and just leave my boob hanging out there for the whole world to see. But I had learnt to cope with that.

Now I have to be home in the middle of the day to feed her. There is no way that I can feed her in public just yet. Not just for the carrots being flung in every direction without a care as to whom they land on, it is also for the screaming that Emmeline omits when green beans hit her tongue. I just know that people will look at me as though I am feeding my child shards of glass mixed with a good dose of poison! No, we are not ready for that yet.

Whilst I am happy that we have started with solids I do also miss the days of the booby. They were much easier! Let’s just hope that Emmeline learns the whole open mouth and swallow system sooner rather than later! Silly noodle!