No police station

D day arrived and with it came the thought “what will the wicked witch do?”. The problem is that the majority of the time, she is totally unpredictable. She could either turn up and then just leave, or she could go to the police, or she may just not even turn up! We sent her an e-mail and a text message a few days ago asking her when she was going to collect Yain on the 1^st January to see if she had accepted that it would be that way or not. She didn’t reply. To either one.

So anyway, we wake up on the 31^st, I honestly have not slept so well as I have a million images in my head about what may take place today. One of those images involves us having coffee with the police whilst trying to explain the situation and the other is a slightly more violent image involving me and the wicked witch. Don’t worry, I am not a violent person, so that image will always just remain in my head, not so sure about the other image though!

 Xavi decides he just wants to find out what is going on, so he phones her. She doesn’t pick up the phone, but a few minutes later she sends a text saying “What do you want?” So he phones her again. She puts on her victim voice. She always has to play the victim, the way she answers the phone, the way she walks, the way she stands by the car waiting for us to bring Yain over. She is so strong and harsh in her e-mails and her text messages, but such a victim in person. I think one would call her a COWARD!

So anyway, xavi phones her and she is like ‘what do you want?’

 ‘To find out what time you are coming to pick up Yaincoa’

‘Oh, whenever is good for you’

WHAT?

SERIOSULY?

A few days ago she is threatening to go to the police if we don’t give her Yaincoa on the morning of the 31^st, and now suddenly she is all like ‘Whatever is best for you’???????????? I am telling you that she does have some serious kind of personality disorder or she just does this to screw with us! It really makes us feel like we are going insane.

image taken from www.awbfam.blogspot.com

New Years Eve at the Police Station?

So tomorrow is D day. Will the police show up at the flat or not?

For those of you who don’t know the story, it goes a little something like this: Yaincoa’s mother, wicked witch, is evil. Sorry, but it is the truth. I dislike her intensely and no, it is not one of those jealousy or intimidation issues or any other Freudian issue, she is a horrible person and although I have done what I can to try to make the relationship between all of us amicable, but it is impossible with this woman!

Yaincoa is currently in his Christmas vacations. We have shared custody with the wicked witch and according to the papers, we get yaincoa for the first half of the vacations and she gets him for the second half. Up until this point, everybody is in agreement. His holiday are from the 23^rd December to the 9^th January, both days included. This makes 18 days. Half of 18 is 9 isn’t it? Now by my calculations that means 9 days with us means that she should come and collect yaincoa on the morning of the 1^st January to start her 9 days. However that is where everything has fallen apart. Wicked witch appears to believe that she should be collecting her son on the morning of the 31^st. She wants him for New Years Eve. I may hear some of you going “Oh, but she simply wants to be with her son to celebrate the New Year, that’s sweet”.

Let me choke away my vomit and explain to you the fiasco of last year:

There is a bar/restaurant in the marina where wicked witch works. It is an open plan place where smoking is allowing. Yaincoa, was 7 years old last year, he has asthma and chronic bronchitis. So last year wicked with takes him to a party in this bar/restaurant filled with smokers where they remain ‘partying’ until 5am. Thereafter they slept in some boat for 3 hours and then mommy drove them the 18km ride along the highway home. Very nice and responsible huh?

Wicked witch wants Yaincoa this year because quite frankly she is not much without her son and because that way she doesn’t have to get up early on New Year’s Day and come and fetch him. We have informed her several times and very clearly that he will be with us on New Year’s Eve. Her last response was that if we don’t give her Yaincoa on the 31^st, she will go directly to the police station to put a report against Xavi, and refuses to reply to any further messages asking what time she will be here to collect her son on the 1^st January. She does not ask herself why we are so sure about what we are saying as she is so used to threatening xavi and having him back down for the benefit of Yaincoa and out of fear about what she may do. Not this year. She also does not think how it could be for Yaincoa if his mother comes to the flat trying to get her son, and the possible confrontation of us then saying No. How would a little 8 year old boy feel about that happening and seeing mommy and daddy fighting about who is to go with? Is she capable of coming to the flat and making a scene despite how it could affect her son? Damn right she is!

This has put us in a bit of a pickle. We have had to go to see our lawyers and get clarification on this. It is a slightly grey area, however we have been assured that we are right. We have had to go to the school and asked for a signed certificate stating the days of Christmas holiday this year, and we have had to leave yaincoa with his grandparents until tomorrow afternoon, therefore affecting our plans and things we wanted to do with him to ensure that he is not in the flat tomorrow morning just in case she comes around. If she does indeed show up and then goes to report xavi, it may transpire that the police will then turn up at the flat to find out what is going on. Again, do you think she cares about how that will affect her son, seeing the police coming to talk to daddy about why he won’t give his son over? No she doesn’t.

Xavi is worried because he knows the law is blatantly unfair the law is towards fathers, and he knows that when a mother goes into a police station playing the victim and claiming that the father of her child won’t give her child to her, he can imagine the police response. He is understandably worried, but I have told him not to worry, we will deal with it together.

So here we sit and wonder, will the police turn up at the flat tomorrow or not?

Tick tock, tick tock . . . .

Mistletoe and wine ....

There were no Christmas carols, there were no Christmas crackers, there was no mistletoe, there was no Santa Claus, but my Christmas was a fantastic success!



I have always enjoyed Christmas, and my family have always made it a special family time for me. The last few years though have not been the traditional family Christmas that I was accustomed to. I spent one Christmas in a shared flat in Sydney with a bunch of other backpackers cooking a bbq instead of a roast chicken, I spent another Christmas on a house boat in Malawi dresses up in a bad shiny pink 80’s style prom dress. My Christmas’s in Spain have been good, but have not felt very Christmassy as neither the country nor Xavi celebrate Christmas very much. I felt as though I had lost those Christmas feeling and experiences that we had in South Africa and in England before I left. I thought that was it!



Yaincoa, my dad aka grandpa and Emmeline

Then I got pregnant and moved into my new flat. I suddenly had images of where I would place my Christmas tree, where I would put the tinsel, how many people could fit around my brand new giant dining room table. It was going to be my daughters first Christmas and even though we may live in a country that doesn’t celebrate Christmas that much, half her family traditionally celebrate Christmas, therefore so would she. In May I told xavi that we would be hosting Christmas at our house! If our parents would come, great. If not, then it would just be us, but this year it would be my traditional fun Christmas! I told my parents, and they readily agreed to have Christmas day at ours. We invited Xavi’s parents and at first they couldn’t make it, but about a week before Christmas, they said they would be able to be here. We had Yaincoa with us so it was going to be a full house! I put up the tree, decorated it, bought more decorations for the tree, decorated the flat and put up lights! Even Xavi seemed to be more into the season and helped decorate the whole place with me. I was thrilled!



My mom, aka Granny



I started to get a little scared! Christmas lunch for 7 people, I was to cook Christmas lunch for 7, how was I going to do it? I decided it would be easy – chuck everything in the oven together, leave it for a few hours, and voila, scrumptious lunch! Oh, and as was tradition, there would of course be the obligatory snacks and drinks on the 24^th as well, and since we had Emmeline, it made sense to have those at ours as well. So I had to think about nibble snacks to make for Christmas Eve, and lunch on Christmas day. Oh, and pudding of course!



I started to do the planning on the 22^nd, I went to buy the food on the 23^rd and on the 24^th I was in the kitchen baking nice homemade chocolate cupcakes with butter cream icing. Finished making the snacks about 20 minutes before my parents arrived with drinks, chicken wings, jamon (dried Spanish ham) and more. We had a fantastic time with both Emmeline and Yaincoa getting heaps of playtime with the grandparents. I also had a chance to consult with mom about everything to do with making Christmas lunch to whether my oven was big enough for everything to how many potatoes I should make! What a huge help! Passed out on Christmas Eve excited about the next day and trying very hard to not peep under the tree and see which presents were mine, I was an adult after all . . . . Nah, it was simply because xavi was in the lounge and so I didn’t get a moment to sneak a peep alone!



The spanish family gandpa Dalmau, granny Conchi, daddy Xavi



Christmas morning and we woke up late! Yaincoa was allowed to open one of his ‘big’ presents to keep him going until all the grandparents arrived. I handed Emmeline over to Xavi, put my apron on and locked myself away in the kitchen. I commented how patient yaincoa seemed to be about waiting to open the rest of his presents, and I was informed by an exasperated looking xavi that no, he was not being patient at all and that practically every time he opened his mouth it was to ask for presents! Ha ha ha ha!

Mom and dad arrived just in time to help yaincoa fix his slightly broken new toy gun, for mom to help calm my nerves about how the lunch was going and to help me with the rest of the preparations, I don’t know what I would have done without her help! A short while later Xavi’s parents arrived and the house was in full swing! The situation was a little difficult as my parents don’t speak much Spanish, and Xavi’s parents don’t speak any English, which means communication between them is limited! But we manage and a little translation here and there by me and xavi helps things along. It is amazing how much people can say and understand even when they don’t speak the same language.

"Mommy, please stop dressing me up in silly things!"

The noise levels in the house had increased by about a million – seven people in the same space, one of those a loud 8 year old little boy, a few of those being Spanish (Spanish people do not speak quietly), a baby who has learnt how to make high pitched noises and everyone else just trying to be heard – and we hadn’t even started to open the presents. Oh dear, this is getting a little crazy. Then the present opening started. Yaincoa became even more boisterous and decided that it was his job to open to only his presents, but also those of his little sister. If I can be honest, this kind of annoyed me as I really wanted to have my little girl on my lap and open presents with her, but it wasn’t to be. Well I suppose that she is only 5 months old, so she doesn’t really understand it all does she?



Presents were opened and everyone was happy!

Homemade trifle

Homemade cupcakes

Out came lunch – Success!! Everybody loved the food and almost everybody had seconds, Yaay me and Yaay mom! We did it. Mom had made homemade trifle, so out came the trifle and the cupcakes – a beautiful homemade spread that just screamed EAT ME! And eat them I did, diet went straight out the window and double portions of trifle were served!

With everybody’s bellies full, everyone retired to the lounge. Yaincoa got a Scalextric for Christmas, so the track was made and away went the boys racing around, making bridges and ramps and all sorts of boyish things whilst the ladies sat back and played pass the baby!



It was the first Christmas that we hosted and it was a great success. It felt like a real Christmas, the ones I remember having with my family a few years ago and the kind that I want my little girl to be raised with and remember, the kind where the important thing is not the presents or the number of presents received, it is not about who got the biggest shiniest gift, it is about family, it is about being together, it is about laughter and fun, and it is all about the pudding!!



Troublesome Teething!

Oh dear, a teething baby is a little bit tiresome isn’t she? I do believe that I happen to have my very own little teething baby!

It started last week. Emmeline has been drooling everywhere for ages now, and for at least a month or two, she has been putting most things into her mouth and has been using my hands and fingers as her own personal chew toys!

I had wondered if she was starting the process of teething, but I could not really be sure. Then last week, I became sure! Emmeline is generally a happy baby. She cries for food and sleepiness and very little else. We have a ritual whereby every morning I bring her into bed with me normally just after Xavi has gotten out of bed so that we can sleep a little longer. Or if she is having a bad time, I will bring her into bed with me earlier if I need to. Yes, yes, I am sure that there are just a million mothers that are saying “Oh no, you cannot bring the child into the bed with you, bad habits, dangerous, problems with dependency on the mother” etc. But I had Emmeline in the bed with me every night for the first 2.5 months of her little life, and there were never any problems, and the first time I put her in her own crib to sleep alone, she did it without any problem whatsoever, so blah! It worked for us.

So anyway, last Monday Emmeline slept like poo! She was up half the night just complaining in general. After I had fed her and made sure she warm enough, the only thing I could do was just stick my hand through the crib and give her the dummy to try to relax her as I was too goddamned tired to get out of bed and try to rock her to seep. Eventually around 4 am I gave up and bought her into bed with me. So we wake up the next morning, and instead of waking up with my baby who wakes up talking, gurgling, laughing, pulling out my eyes and poking my face; I woke up with a baby who was whinging and crying. Very unusual. She spent most of the day irritable and making a little whinging half cry noise. I felt so bad for her and the only thing that I could really do for her was to have her as close to me as possible, either in my arms, or in the Baby Bjorn. I gave her a little medicine to try to help, and it did seem to soothe her a little bit, but she was still furiously trying to eat anything and everything and I could see her biting down as hard as possible on things without getting too much relief. Her sore gums also meant that she wasn’t eating so well either, she would eat for a little while and then stop and start to cry. It got a little frustrating especially as there was nothing that I could do to make her feel better. This continued for a couple of days and then she appeared to be better. ‘Thank god’ I thought!

Then along came yesterday. She was all whingy again, she has a little tiny rash on her chin and cheeks (I guess from the incredible amount of spit that falls out of her gorgeous little mouth every day), she was sleeping less and she was irritable. I figured that her gums were hurting her but put her to bed without too much of a problem, and soon forgot all about it. Then I went to bed and it all began. Around 23:30, I went in to go sleep as quietly as I could, however, she woke up. So I decided to feed her before going to sleep in the hope of getting a good stretch of between 4 to 6 hrs of (almost) uninterrupted sleep.  So I fed her, burped her, kissed her, put her to bed, told her I loved her, collapsed into my own bed, switched off the light and patiently waited for sleep to come and get me as quick as possible! Then Emmeline started to make little noises and I could hear her pulling out her dummy to eat it and then start to whinge because she didn’t have her dummy in her mouth! How frustrating was that! I put the dummy into her mouth; she takes it out, chews it, drops it and starts to whimper about not having it!

At one point I had my hand through the crib hovering about the dummy and gently swatting her hands away from her mouth to try and stop this pattern. My arm eventually lost all feeling from being up in the air unsupported! So I tried another tactic. I sternly whispered (so as not to wake xavi up) that if Emmeline chose to remove her dummy and dropped it again, she would just have to go without it as I could not spend the whole night putting her dummy back in her mouth. I even turned over so that my back was facing the crib convinced that I would be able to be strong and not jump the minute my daughter made the slightest of sounds. That lasted about 20 seconds! She started to settle and we both dozed for about 5 minutes, but then I woke up with her whimpering and shrieking again. So the dummy process began again. I know, bad mommy for just giving her the dummy the whole time, but I was absolutely exhausted. By around 01:30 I lost a little bit of my patience. All I wanted to do was sleep, I was tired and cold and as I had been awake for so long, unfortunately I started to feel hungry! Don’t worry, losing my patience quite simply entailed whispering loudly “oh what Emmeline? What is it you want? I can’t do anything. I am so tired” whilst trying to get out of bed and open a very stubborn closed eyelid. My only option was to stick a booby in her mouth and hope that it would get her off to sleep. It did thankfully, but not for a long time and not very deeply! I remember waking up several more time and then we managed to get a few good hours of sleep. Then in the early hours we woke up again and eventually around 06:00am she came into bed with me.

All the while that this was happening, poor little Yaincoa was in his room coughing the night away. He still has a cough (I could hazard a few guesses as to why and it has everything to do with the wicked witch), so I think I also couldn’t sleep for that.

Emmeline managed to get a little more sleep thankfully! She started the day off and seemed fine, but eventually around midday I had to give her some medicine as she seems to be more and more uncomfortable as the day has progressed.

Eventually I had to bath her and out her to bed early as I think the best thing for her is to sleep. She woke up an hour later crying and I have just given her a little more medicine so that the poor little thing can try to get some rest! I do hope my little noodle gets good nights sleep and selfishly, I also hope that I do as well!!

Shopping Heaving

OH MY GOD!

I think I may just pass out from sheer giddiness. I have just located Zara Kids Online Home Shopping! I am now a very happy mommy! Ridiculous really, but I can't help it. Now don't get me wrong, I am not one of these dippy doo lally mothers who buy labels for their children’s and dress them head to toe in designer, nor am I a dippy doo dally who goes on massive shopping sprees every other day so my little girl has a wardrobe triple the size of mine, but it is fun buying for her, In fact, I actually seem to enjoy shopping for her more than me, might have something to do with the 10kgs I am STILL trying to lose that makes shopping for me a little poo. Generally I live in H&M, I but almost all my clothing, Emmeline's clothing and presents in there. I also tend to buy little bodies from supermarkets as they go for about 1euro or 1.50 each, and I don’t see the point in spending a lot on something that Emmeline is simply going to wee on, poo on, vomit on, and grow out of in 3 nanoseconds. However I have recently discovered Zara Kids as there is a shop located close to the flat. Oh my, what pretty things they have in there! I don’t buy too much, but yes a few pretty little pieces for Emmeline, and I make sure that I buy it quite a few sizes too big so that she will grow into them as opposed to growing out of them!

If I could, I would but much, much more in Zara! Here are some of the things I want...

I already have this one in white, but it is so comfy!

 

Makes me wish that all this stuff came in size mommy!

Christmas Time

Christmas time, Mistletoe and wine, fa la la, la la la la la la.....

Ok, so I don’t know the words, and I cannot really drink wine (breastfeeding), I don’t own any mistletoe and I don’t own a Christmas carol CD (must be sure to download something very soon), but I have finally put up my Christmas tree!! Yaay me!

I have not been feeling very Christmas, but that is not just this year! It has been a while now. Why? I don’t know, perhaps because I now live in a country where Christmas is not the big celebration at this time of year, the big celebration would be The Three Kings on the 6^th January.

(Background Info: In Spain father Christmas is not the star of the show, it is the Three Kings. They were the three wise men who came and gave gifts; therefore, the time to give gifts over here is traditionally the 6^th January. The 6^th January will see 3 giant kings arrive by boat and then there is a parade all around the city where they throw sweets at the children. That is the day children get there gifts. Last year Yaincoa received an electric toothbrush and a mobile phone from his mother on this date. He was 7. Not normal.  However with more and more external influence in the media etc, Father Christmas is beginning to carve out a little niche for himself over here. Great for the kids, most will now get presents at Christmas and the 3 kings if the parents choose to celebrate both. )

Since our family is a mixed bag of delights, we shall celebrate both. Christmas time is my traditional celebration and the three kings is Xavi’s traditional celebration. Our children will therefore get both!

Where was I? Ok so back to why I don't feel Christmassy? I think that it is because whilst there are Christmas lights in the street, it is nowhere near Oxford Street standards! Each ‘barrio’ (district) of Barcelona pays for their own lights and therefore is representative of that barrio. For example, Barceloneta is a fishing area, so there Christmas lights have fish in them. No, not very Christmas like, but yes very representative of that barrio and unique. So, not many Christmassy lights, what else? Well I have not heard one single Christmas carol! Not on the radio, not on the TV, not in the supermarket, nowhere. The only place I heard a Christmas carol was on a report for the news talking about how the remix version of Jingle Bells was making it big over in Ibiza ...Ok then! I have also noticed a distinct lack of Christmas decorations in flat windows, or in shops, I have also not seen a Santa Claus yet, anywhere. The only real sign so far that Christmas in near in the absolute bombardment of adverts for children’s toys (enough already, we are trying to not raise spoilt brats) and adverts for perfumes (I am seriously over images of semi naked, sexy, wet gorgeous people. Honestly, I am). I feel a little bit like Christmas imposter. But ho hum, away I go anyway, if I don’t feel Christmassy, then perhaps surrounding myself with the evidence that it is in fact that time of year again will push me into the mood! Truth be told, I want to feel all Christmassy as this is Emmeline’s first and I am all excited about that!

My Christmas decoration mission started off well. We went down to the house last week for a one day visit quite simply to get some of our winter clothing and most importantly, to get my Christmas decorations. Xavi’s dad very kindly bought us back in the car saving us a rather long train journey with a large chequered plastic bag with a Christmas tree sticking out of it! I wanted to put the tree up on Sunday night while Yaincoa was with us, but as you may know, the Wicked Witch decided to come and pick up her son early and so that plan went down the drain. So on Monday I started to decorate the house. First thing, decorations all around the lounge and a few decorations in the hallway. It occurred to me that I have never decorated more than this part of the flat, mostly I just decorate the lounge and that is it! Does anyone actually put decorations in their whole house? You could actually close the door to my lounge and feel like everything was normal, open the door and walk into Christmas! I could buy more decorations to do the rest of the flat, but it just wouldn’t feel right. Next up, the tree. My tree is a few years old now, the decorations are fairly crap and the tinsel appears to have been cut up (no doubt by a little boy who ‘helped’ me decorate last year; I thought that there appeared to be more tinsel than normal). You see the problem is that by the end of the year my funds are normal dried up, and presents come before decorations, hence the really awful Christmas tree decorations!

So anyway, up went the tree; on went the lights, tinsel and decorations. On went the lights and I took a step back to admire the tree. It was very pretty although slightly anorexic in the decorations department. However, I told myself that if I could find a few extra coins somewhere, I would buy myself a few more decorations. The tree stood in her corner all night long, lights twinkling away, decorations dancing amongst the tinsel. Ah Christmas . . .

The following day I had scraped together quite a few coins that enabled me to go out and buy more tinsel, more decorations for the lounge, and more decorations for the tree. YAAY! I came home and rearranged everything with my nice new decorations and tinsel, it was beautiful and then I went to put the lights on again. I plugged in the switch and NOTHING. No lights, not a single one, nothing. I could not believe it, all that work for the lights to fizz out! I was slightly devastated. I sat in a heap on the couch and slowly deflated.

Xavi, my darling hero, went out and bought me new lights the next day and so I spent the following afternoon removing ALL the decorations, ALL the tinsel and the dud lights. Half way through the process of removing these dud lights, they started to work again. SERIOUSLY? Bastards. I threw them into a corner totally disgusted them and their unwillingness to work when I wanted them to and I arranged the new lights, the tinsel and the decorations . . . again. Switched on the lights, and the tree was gorgeous, much better than before I am pleased to say. Emmeline was fascinated by the lights for about 3 seconds and then hastily resumed to eating her hands, oh well, maybe next year will mean more to her.

As for the dud lights? Xavi got them working and they are now up on the wall twinkling away in all the Christmas glory . . .

The curse of the other mother

Yaincoa’s mother, Wicked Witch S, really is the worst person and mother that I have ever known in my life! The bummer? We are stuck with her in our life like a little irritating yap yap dog for a very, very long time! I know that some people may think that I am only saying this and I only think this because Xavi is my partner and that, shame, surely she has a side to this story as well? No, I am not biased, she is awful as a person and even worse as a mother. Many women may feel that I am a traitor by saying this, but a child is not always better off with the mother, she is a prime example.

Monday of every week is always a hard day in our house. One Monday it is hard because we have dropped Yaincoa off at school and he is not in our flat. The flat is a much quieter place without him. The following Monday is hard because we pick Yaincoa up after a whole week with wicked witch S and he has inevitably taken a few steps backwards in attitude thanks to her. To sum her up, she doesn’t care very much for the well being of her son (although she would of course deny this) and is much more interested in hurting xavi. That is the plain and simple truth. Anyone following this blog will become aware of this.

This week has been a whole bag of surprises with her, a real rollercoaster ride. We only had Yaincoa from Thursday as the first 3 days of the week were holidays and so he had to stay with her. Xavi had missed him a lot and was very excited to see him. But nervous as well because with Yaincoa comes Yaincoa’s school diary, wicked witch’s favourite place to bitch and make low blows about xavi. We are never sure what she will have put this time.

This is how our week has gone:

Monday 29 November: Xavi drops Yain off at school; he has put all his homework in a plastic folder in his bag including his maths homework

Wednesday 01 December: Xavi phones Yaincoa to see how he is. Wicked witch shouts form the background ‘Where is the maths homework’. Xavi explains to Yain that he put it all in his school bag. After the phone call, wicked witch send a sms telling xavi to bring the maths homework to school the next day, xavi explains (again) that he put it all in the bag. She responds that there is no plastic folder in the bag. Well no stupid, Yaincoa has obviously taken the whole folder out at school. We inform her of this once again stating we don’t have the homework, it is either at school or Yain has lost the piece of paper. She continues. Eventually we tell her to stop with the sms’s as we don’t have the maths homework.

Thursday 09 December: So of course this means that when we got yaincoa this week, we were rather nervous about the school book. True to form, she made a comment to the teacher along the lines of “The father said that he put the homework in the school bag. It is not there therefore Yaincoa does not have his maths homework”. I was fuming and I had a good word with Yaincoa for his part in not taking responsibilities for his own homework and for not stating that maybe he had lost it instead of letting his dad take the blame. I was furious!! This is xavi, the father who has been known to iron his son’s homework pages if they have been crumpled, the father who has sat until the early hours making robot costumes for his sons school activity, the same man who just spent all afternoon researching nativity scenes and recycling ideas for Yain’s latest school competition!

The same day, wicked witch has sent Yain to school without a jacket, our jacket. It was hotter than normal that day, but not in the morning before school or the afternoon after school, and he was half sick with a cough again. She has a habit of keeping our clothing and we are fed up with it, so he asks Yaincoa to phone his mom to ask her to drop the jacket off at school the next morning. He phones her and asks her to do this (she works close enough to the school and as she drives everywhere, it is pretty easy for her to do this). She later sends xavi a sms to say that by getting Yain to phone her he is ‘jodiendo la vida de mi hijo’, basically screwing up the life of her son. Yeah ok, because xavi is the one who sent the sick son to school without a jacket!!

Friday 10 December: wicked witch sends a sms to xavi around 10am to say that she is stuck in traffic and can’t bring the jacket to school and then calls him Filthy Scum! Filthy Scum? A father wants his jacket back so his son can keep warm as we don’t have another one, and her well educated response is to call him filthy scum. Again, fuming! We send an email requesting the jacket and also detailing the days each has with Yain during Christmas holiday. The papers state half time with each parent and this year xavi gets first half. By my calculations this means that we have Yain until the morning of the first of January and she has him from then. We also ask her to stop with the insults

Saturday 11 December: she responds to the email to say that to start with xavi is a compulsive liar who has nothing to say but lie (due to the fact that he said it is cold and Yain needs the jacket. Um we are in winter, generally the cold season you moron) she then continues to say that she is not insulting him, what she says about him is reality not insults. This is followed by the fact that she agrees with the holidays and she will collect him on the 31^st, even though we have clearly stated that she has him from the 1^st Jan. This doesn’t seem to interest her much as this would mean that new year’s day, in the morning, she would have to come and fetch her son, hangover and all. For us no problem, we have a newborn and I am breastfeeding, I don’t think we will exactly be partying hard this new years!
(Background info: last year yaincoa was with the wicked witch for New Years Eve. Turns out that they went to a bar/restaurant in the marina where she works and they celebrated there. Yaincoa (who was 7 years old at the time) was awake and running riot until 5am, in a smoking bar; he is a child with asthma and chronic bronchitis. After that they slept in a boat for 3 hours and then she drove then the 20km journey home (drunk?).

Does this seem normal to anyone??)

Her email finishes off by saying that how xavi wants to do things as the paper says; now everything will be done that way. She says this because in summer instead of splitting vacations half and half, they do continue with the one week with each parent system, just makes more sense when there are 3 months of summer holiday! They also do their weeks from Monday to Monday (one drops him off at school to finish their week, and the other picks him up Monday afternoon to start their week) instead of Sundays at 20:00 as the papers state. Works out better for yaincoa as he doesn’t have to get carted around a Sunday night when he should be at home relaxing, having his dinner, getting ready for bed etc. I am suspicious at that comment, but we choose to ignore the comment and enjoy our weekend.

Sunday 12 December: We have a day planned of monopoly, xavi and Yain finishing off his nativity scene competition for school (I must point out that his mother has never helped him with this), and putting up Christmas decorations. Everyone is in a good mood and the sun is shining. Xavi’s phone tings with a sms. It is her. She says that she will be at the flat at 20:00pm to pick up Yain!!!!!!!!!!! We are left gob smacked and furious. Yes it is her right to collect him then, but she is only doing it to hurt Xavi. She knows that Xavi has only had him for 3 days this week and she is trying to punish him, I suspect she is doing this because she is angry at him about the whole New Years Eve shamble. What she doesn’t realise is that Yain is normally eating dinner around 19:30 with us, after that he gets some time to watch cartoons, and then around 21:00 or so he has to start to get ready for bed. 20:00pm is slap bam in the middle of all of this. For him to now have to be carted around on a freezing Sunday night is ridiculous. It is not so bad in her week, Wicked Witch goes everywhere in her little Audi. Us? We will have to go and get him by metro next week; we have to get the yellow line, then change over to the red line and then a 10 minute walk to his flat. Then we have to do the return journey. I can’t go with xavi as Emmeline will be in bed. By the time they get home, it will be time for Yain to go to bed. That is of course is wicked witch has given him dinner, and we don’t have to quickly prepare something. There is clearly no benefit in this arrangement to yaincoa so why has she suddenly decided on Sunday nights? To screw with xavi. However by doing this, she is actually hurting her son.

It doesn’t end there.

Monday 13 December: Xavi meets yaincoa at school to give him his nativity scene and his school diary. Why did we still have the diary? Well, Yain needs to have x-rays on his teeth to see if he needs braces or not. Wicked Witch has never taken him to the dentist and when we asked her to do this, she replied to Xavi ”this is your thing, you know more about it than me, finish what you started and no, she wasn’t going to make the appointment for the x-rays”. So we have to go and see the dentist in the hospital first and he will order the appointment for the x-rays. The hospital gave us the date of today and 16:20. Great, we can take him as wicked witch is working and we will be finished by 17:00 where we can either take him back to school to meet her, or she can meet us at the hospital as it is easier for her to get home in her Audi from the hospital than it is from school. However, we didn’t want to give her the school book the night before with the note that yaincoa has to leave early for the dentist as we worried that she was capable of removing this note from the book saying Yain wasn’t going. In the middle of the day on Monday we send her an email to say that Yain has the dentist and where should we meet her at 17:00, school or hospital? She sends an sms saying “he is not going to the dentist today, impossible, get an appointment in your week’. We respond with why not? It doesn’t affect her at all as she is at work, you she doesn’t even have to lift a finger. She cockily replies “I will tell you why, he is not going and that is it. Get an appointment in your week and stop annoying me” we respond again with “ok, and if we bring him directly to your flat after the appointment?” that was she really doesn’t have to do anything. Her response? “NO”. We have had to change the appointment and the next available date? 10 January. A delay of a whole month because she is being difficult and is trying to hurt Xavi. What she doesn’t care about is that once again, she is hurting her son in the process.

Tuesday 14 December: The fiasco about the vacations continues. She states she gets him on the 31^st, we state she gets him on the 1^st. apparently her lawyer says she is right, ours say we are right. She threatens to report us to the police if she cannot fetch yaincoa on the 31^st. We tell her to go ahead. The problem is that the holidays are a little grey this year as the last day is Sunday and so we need to double check with our lawyer if normal rules apply for the changeover of yaincoa or not because technically it is still a vacation day. If we are wrong it we kill me to have to say to her that she can indeed have her son on the 31^st knowing full well that he will probably spend another night awake at some ungodly hour in a totally unsuitable venue whilst she is doing god knows what. If we are right then we have to prepare ourselves for the next battle/ What is the next battle? Then one with yaincoa because i am sure that wicked witch will then try to use him to get her way. Something along the lines of “yaincoa, mommy wanted you to be with me, because we are going to this place and your little friend will be there and you can stay up late and have soooo much fun”. Isn’t life supposed to be easier? Aren’t parents supposed to put their children first and not use them as weapons?

Please say tomorrow is a quiet day . . .



The Nativity Scene

It is that time of year again, time for Yaincoa’s optional nativity scene competition for school. The specifications for this year’s competition are simple: it should be no bigger than the size of a shoe box, and it should be made out of recycled material!

For some parents, this may sound daunting, making something like this, personally I wouldn’t know where to begin, but Xavi is the king of paper mache!  He and Yaincoa have made all sorts of things out of paper mache including a fake arm cast, a little mini part of a golf course, a giant shoe kicking through the ceiling and a rather large house of terror! I was excited to see what they would do this year. We researches nativity scenes and found out that the location was actually inside a cave, I always thought it was in a barn or room of some sorts, so that was a surprise. We all threw some ideas on the table and then decided on a room in a cave! They made the room out of cardboard, and then cut out little bricks from the cardboard. The stuck bricks on the outside and inside of the room. Then they made roof tiles out of the inner of a roll of kitchen paper. The mountains were made out of paper mache, and real bits of trees were used to make mini trees. The bodies of Mary, Joseph and Jesus were then made out of rolled cardboard, their heads were made form paper mache and their clothing was made from scrap pieces of leather material.

The end result? Spectacular in my opinion!!!

The Vaccinations .....

Getting Emmeline’s vaccinations have felt as though I am starring in Dumb and Dumber or candid camera or something like that! It has all been rather incredible!

It all began with her 1 month vaccinations. She was scheduled to have them on Monday 20 September. Just thinking about it made me nervous for her. My poor little girl getting stuck with needles for the first time in her life while the nurse uttered th most ridiculous lie ever “you will just feel a little pinch”! It is never a little pinch, it is pain, and they are stabbing you with a needle for god’s sakes! However a few days before she was due to go in, she caught a cold from me, her first one! I felt awful for her as there was nothing I could do to make it better. Knowing that I was then going to be taking her down to the doctors where they were going to give her the vaccinations and make her feel worse just broke my heart! By Monday, she was definitely sick, I didn’t know if they could still vaccinate her or not, so we went down anyway. Let me explain that my doctors are not close by. We have to take a 20 minute metro ride and a 10 minute walk to get there. I could change to a doctor’s surgery that is closer, but I know the ladies down there as I have been going for 5 years. The paediatrician is the same paediatrician for yaincoa, and they always treat us well. So we schlep down there every time we need to go. Anyway, off we go on Monday. The paediatrician asks us how we are and I explain that Emmeline appears to be sick. She agrees and we decide to not give her the vaccinations. She didn’t have a fever or anything, but we just thought it would be kinder to wait a week until Emmeline was over her cold and not make her feel worse now. So off we went and I took my sick little angel home heaving a sigh of relief that we didn’t have to face the dreaded needle today!

The following Monday rolled by and my little girl was all better. So off we trundle to get the metro followed by the walk to the surgery. At first we wait outside the paediatrician’s office, but I notice that no one seems to be calling us and it is now about 15 minutes past our appointment. I cautiously knock on the door (they hate when you do that and actually have signs on the doors to say that if they door is closed, don’t knock, they are busy. No one really seems to pay attention!) I go in asking the paediatrician if we will be called soon. She asks what it is for, and then tells me that I actually have to go to where the nurses are so that they can administer the vaccination. Crap! Now we are late and it is lunchtime. Please don't say they have all left! We race over and I explain the situation to the nurses. She tells us to have seat and they will start to organise the necessary in order to give Emmeline her shots. We sit, we wait. Emmeline starts to cry. I think that she can feel my nerves and it is rubbing off on her. I have butterflies in my tummy and I cannot sit still.  After a 10 minute wait the nurse comes out and tells us that unfortunately they are unable to administer her vaccinations today due to the fact that ..... They have none in stock!!!

SERIOUSLY?

"Mommy, why is that lady coming near me with a needle in her hand?"

Why is it that no one had the sense to check the vaccinations that morning, and then check the list of people due to get vaccinated, and then they could have seen that they were short. They could have either ordered more, or better yet, they could have phoned me to tell me to not bother to drag my daughter and myself out of the house and waste our time! But of course, I can’t say that to them, I hate confrontation and I always think that it is best to stay on the good side of everyone in your doctor’s surgery! They reschedule us for the following Monday, I nod, I pile my child back into the Baby Bjorn and off we trundle back to the smelly metro and back home having successfully wasted about 2 hrs of our tie that we will never ever be able to get back.

So the following Monday arrives and we do the whole thing again. I head straight over to the nurses area and prepare myself for another problem, who knows, random robbery of all vaccinations? We wait. A nurse comes out and asks why we are there, so I hand over my little paper with the details of the vaccination and today’s date being the latest on a list of scribbled out dates from previous weeks. She looks confused and mutters something like ‘no, I don’t think .....’ I didn’t catch the rest because I interrupted and little too sternly explaining that yes, we were getting vaccinations today. She told us to have a seat and off she skedaddled. My patience started to rapidly disappear when 25 minutes later we were still waiting and I had just seen the same nurse come back with my little piece of paper in her hand avoiding looking at me. No, no, no! This had better not happen again! Eventually she called us in; it was going to happen, finally! Emmeline was sleeping, so I had to wake her up and pull down her pants and hold onto her legs strongly so she didn’t move them. In went the first shot, I wasn’t holding strong enough and her leg moved hurting her even more! The nurse went to the other side and told me to hold stronger. Emmeline was wailing in my arms and I was getting a lump in my throat. In went the second shot. A few more seconds of wailing, then a yelp or two, then silence, and then she went back to sleep! The nurse was super unhelpful and just went ‘Esta’ basically meaning ‘that’s it’ and she left! Wow, you really excelled at the how to treat people part of your nurse raining didn’t you? Cow.

Along came 4 months. Time for more vaccinations.

The paediatrician Marta had previously explained to me that we could get an optional extra private vaccination for Emmeline that was for flu and gastro or something like that. I agree that would get it. She tells me that as it is private “tienes que pagar” meaning you have to pay. No problem I think, I will bring cash with me next time to pay for it. This vaccination is scheduled for 27 October. I trundle down and prepare myself to be relaxed so that Emmeline doesn’t feel my nerves. We wait for 15 minutes and in we go. It is the other paediatrician, Lada. I am talking to her whilst I get Emmeline out of the Baby Bjorn and onto the table. Lada asks me if I have the vaccination. I go over and get out my vaccination papers to give to her. ‘No cariño, la vacuna’, no darling, the vaccination. I look at her blankly and feel my heart fall into my shoes. I explain that Marta told me I had to pay for it. Lada shakes her head and informs me that what Marta meant is that I actually have to buy the bloody stupid thing from the pharmacist.

SERIOUSLY?

In Spanish, ‘pagar’ is pay, ‘comprar’ is buy. Apparently even though Marta said pagar, that actually meant I have to buy it. I shake my head, put Emmeline back in the Baby Bjorn and get my new appointment. We have to wait a few weeks so that we can do the private vaccination and the standard one at the same time. Rescheduled for 22 November. We leave gobsmacked.

22 November sees us back in the doctors surgery all prepared. I had bought the vaccinations from our local pharmacy a few days earlier and had placed in directly in the baby bag so I wouldn’t forget it. In we go, baby out of Baby Bjorn and back on the table. Lada asks me if I bought it today. No, a few days ago. She asks me if I stored it in the fridge. I stop, Emmeline half out of her jacket, slowly turn around and simply say “what?” apparently the vaccination has to be stored in the fridge.

SERIOUSLY???

NO ONE TOLD ME THAT. I look around the room thinking ‘is there a camera in here’. Nope. Why, why, why? I slowly dress my child. I spent 60euros on that vaccination that was now useless. Lada rescheduled and suggested that I try to get the pharmacy to change that vaccination. I feel like someone is having a joke at my expense. I go to the pharmacist and explain my problem. She feels really bad as she tells me there is nothing that they can do. I have to walk out quickly as I feel the tears coming. I cannot afford to spend another 60 Euros on another vaccination! I go home and explain it to xavi whilst the tears fall down my cheeks onto my sleeping child’s head. Xavi takes the box, heads down to the pharmacy, comes back telling me that yes, they will change it. They felt really bad about it all as well.

The following week and I am in the doctors room with my daughter lying on the table, her pants pulled down to expose her chubby little legs – perfect for stabbing the 2 little needles filled with vaccinations!! Lada tells me to hold her hands against her chest, I do and I lovingly look into my daughters eyes talking to her calmly trying to distract her. The first needle goes in. Emmeline's eyes open wide. She looks into my eyes and silently asks ’what happened mommy? That hurt! Why? I trusted you’ and then she starts to cry. I calm her and a few seconds later we do it again in her other leg. She cries for a few seconds and then starts to laugh at Lada. We walk out all vaccinated at last, but I still find myself looking around for a camera as I cannot believe what we have been through just to get here!

I am left wondering what could possibly happen at the 6 months vaccinations????

Curse of the Cold

Oh my poor little angel is sick! Again! This is the second time that she has been sick since she was born, and I feel so bad for her, and I feel really guilty because once again, it was me who gave her the cold. Surely though this gives me the right to feel angry at those who gave me the cold that I then passed on to my daughter? I don’t know why, but it would appear that since giving birth I have zero immune system. Someone as much as sniffles in my house and I get knocked down for a whole week with a stupid cold. And yes, I do have a healthy diet! I can try to blame those in my house: Xavi for working too hard, not sleeping enough, and not eating properly therefore getting run down and sick. Or I could blame Yaincoa, but he can only take a small portion of the blame as he is 8 years old, therefore I will have to pass the rest of his blame onto his mother. Yaincoa has chronic bronchitis and asthma, his mom doesn't quite take care of him as well of a normal person would and so due to this reason and just being a kid, he spends most of winter sick. What this means is that they get sick, I get even sicker, little Emmeline gets sick as well.

Having read p on colds in Wikipedia, I have come to the conclusion that I am screwed! This is what they say:

“There is currently no known treatment that shortens the duration; however, symptoms usually resolve spontaneously in 7 to 10 days, with some symptoms possibly lasting for up to three weeks“  – So no treatment, I will just have to tough it out

“The common cold is the most frequent infectious disease in humans with on average two to four infections a year in adults and up to 6–12 in children” – I must be getting the whole families share as I have had 3 colds in 4 months!

“A history of smoking extends the duration of illness by about three days” – I used to smoke but gave up when I found out I was pregnant

“Getting fewer than seven hours of sleep per night has been associated with a risk three times higher of developing an infection when exposed to a rhinovirus, compared to those who sleep more than eight hours per night” – HA, please see my post of sleep deprivation! 4 month old baby and seven hours of sleep? If only...

“The best prevention is staying away from people who are infected” – Kind of hard when the infected people are your boyfriend and his son, don’t think they would feel so great if I told them to get out of the flat for 7 – 10 days!

“Colds are primarily transmitted through breathing in tiny particles that the infected person emits when he or she coughs, sneezes, or exhales” – So we should all just stop breathing then?

I was sick last week and it really did make looking after Emmeline by myself hard! I had no energy and I ached all over. She was being very fussy about eating and she just wouldn’t sleep by herself and I just wanted to lie in bed all day. I couldn’t, so I had to tap my resources and get on with it taking whatever medicine the pharmacist had Ok’d to a breastfeeding mother, drink lots of orange juice and have lots of steam baths of eucalyptus! I eventually started to feel better by Saturday, but on Saturday I then noticed that Emmeline was not behaving like herself. She seemed out of sorts, and was crying a bit more than usual. She was also all tired and lethargic. By Sunday she had a snotty nose and a chesty cough. My heart absolutely broke into a million pieces. I could see that she was feeling like crap, but the little gem still managed to give me several priceless smiles and giggles! I tried to carry on with our normal daily routines, but I could see that this would not work. Every time that I tried to put her down or down to sleep by herself, she started to cry, in the end I had her in my arms or the baby Bjorn all day. It worked out nicely for me as I love having her in my arms, and if that was what I could do to make her feel better, then I would do it happily! So there we were, sick mommy, sick baby and daddy working all day. I chose the only option that I could think of: medicine, pyjamas all day and Greys Anatomy.  A few of the nights I put her in her crib, and in the end I had to bring her into bed with me and slept hugging her all night long. I know many people don’t agree with co-sleeping, but I did it for the first 2 months of her life with no problems, so for me it was fine to bring Emmeline into bed and soothe and comfort her.

She is finally over her cold, and is starting to feel herself again, although not completely. However what the poor little thing doesn’t know is that tomorrow we have her 4 month vaccinations......