Monday of every week is always a hard day in our house. One Monday it is hard because we have dropped Yaincoa off at school and he is not in our flat. The flat is a much quieter place without him. The following Monday is hard because we pick Yaincoa up after a whole week with wicked witch S and he has inevitably taken a few steps backwards in attitude thanks to her. To sum her up, she doesn’t care very much for the well being of her son (although she would of course deny this) and is much more interested in hurting xavi. That is the plain and simple truth. Anyone following this blog will become aware of this.
This week has been a whole bag of surprises with her, a real rollercoaster ride. We only had Yaincoa from Thursday as the first 3 days of the week were holidays and so he had to stay with her. Xavi had missed him a lot and was very excited to see him. But nervous as well because with Yaincoa comes Yaincoa’s school diary, wicked witch’s favourite place to bitch and make low blows about xavi. We are never sure what she will have put this time.
This is how our week has gone:
Monday 29 November: Xavi drops Yain off at school; he has put all his homework in a plastic folder in his bag including his maths homework
Wednesday 01 December: Xavi phones Yaincoa to see how he is. Wicked witch shouts form the background ‘Where is the maths homework’. Xavi explains to Yain that he put it all in his school bag. After the phone call, wicked witch send a sms telling xavi to bring the maths homework to school the next day, xavi explains (again) that he put it all in the bag. She responds that there is no plastic folder in the bag. Well no stupid, Yaincoa has obviously taken the whole folder out at school. We inform her of this once again stating we don’t have the homework, it is either at school or Yain has lost the piece of paper. She continues. Eventually we tell her to stop with the sms’s as we don’t have the maths homework.
Thursday 09 December: So of course this means that when we got yaincoa this week, we were rather nervous about the school book. True to form, she made a comment to the teacher along the lines of “The father said that he put the homework in the school bag. It is not there therefore Yaincoa does not have his maths homework”. I was fuming and I had a good word with Yaincoa for his part in not taking responsibilities for his own homework and for not stating that maybe he had lost it instead of letting his dad take the blame. I was furious!! This is xavi, the father who has been known to iron his son’s homework pages if they have been crumpled, the father who has sat until the early hours making robot costumes for his sons school activity, the same man who just spent all afternoon researching nativity scenes and recycling ideas for Yain’s latest school competition!
The same day, wicked witch has sent Yain to school without a jacket, our jacket. It was hotter than normal that day, but not in the morning before school or the afternoon after school, and he was half sick with a cough again. She has a habit of keeping our clothing and we are fed up with it, so he asks Yaincoa to phone his mom to ask her to drop the jacket off at school the next morning. He phones her and asks her to do this (she works close enough to the school and as she drives everywhere, it is pretty easy for her to do this). She later sends xavi a sms to say that by getting Yain to phone her he is ‘jodiendo la vida de mi hijo’, basically screwing up the life of her son. Yeah ok, because xavi is the one who sent the sick son to school without a jacket!!
Friday 10 December: wicked witch sends a sms to xavi around 10am to say that she is stuck in traffic and can’t bring the jacket to school and then calls him Filthy Scum! Filthy Scum? A father wants his jacket back so his son can keep warm as we don’t have another one, and her well educated response is to call him filthy scum. Again, fuming! We send an email requesting the jacket and also detailing the days each has with Yain during Christmas holiday. The papers state half time with each parent and this year xavi gets first half. By my calculations this means that we have Yain until the morning of the first of January and she has him from then. We also ask her to stop with the insults
Saturday 11 December: she responds to the email to say that to start with xavi is a compulsive liar who has nothing to say but lie (due to the fact that he said it is cold and Yain needs the jacket. Um we are in winter, generally the cold season you moron) she then continues to say that she is not insulting him, what she says about him is reality not insults. This is followed by the fact that she agrees with the holidays and she will collect him on the 31st, even though we have clearly stated that she has him from the 1st Jan. This doesn’t seem to interest her much as this would mean that new year’s day, in the morning, she would have to come and fetch her son, hangover and all. For us no problem, we have a newborn and I am breastfeeding, I don’t think we will exactly be partying hard this new years!
(Background info: last year yaincoa was with the wicked witch for New Years Eve. Turns out that they went to a bar/restaurant in the marina where she works and they celebrated there. Yaincoa (who was 7 years old at the time) was awake and running riot until 5am, in a smoking bar; he is a child with asthma and chronic bronchitis. After that they slept in a boat for 3 hours and then she drove then the 20km journey home (drunk?).
(Background info: last year yaincoa was with the wicked witch for New Years Eve. Turns out that they went to a bar/restaurant in the marina where she works and they celebrated there. Yaincoa (who was 7 years old at the time) was awake and running riot until 5am, in a smoking bar; he is a child with asthma and chronic bronchitis. After that they slept in a boat for 3 hours and then she drove then the 20km journey home (drunk?).
Does this seem normal to anyone??)
Her email finishes off by saying that how xavi wants to do things as the paper says; now everything will be done that way. She says this because in summer instead of splitting vacations half and half, they do continue with the one week with each parent system, just makes more sense when there are 3 months of summer holiday! They also do their weeks from Monday to Monday (one drops him off at school to finish their week, and the other picks him up Monday afternoon to start their week) instead of Sundays at 20:00 as the papers state. Works out better for yaincoa as he doesn’t have to get carted around a Sunday night when he should be at home relaxing, having his dinner, getting ready for bed etc. I am suspicious at that comment, but we choose to ignore the comment and enjoy our weekend.
Sunday 12 December: We have a day planned of monopoly, xavi and Yain finishing off his nativity scene competition for school (I must point out that his mother has never helped him with this), and putting up Christmas decorations. Everyone is in a good mood and the sun is shining. Xavi’s phone tings with a sms. It is her. She says that she will be at the flat at 20:00pm to pick up Yain!!!!!!!!!!! We are left gob smacked and furious. Yes it is her right to collect him then, but she is only doing it to hurt Xavi. She knows that Xavi has only had him for 3 days this week and she is trying to punish him, I suspect she is doing this because she is angry at him about the whole New Years Eve shamble. What she doesn’t realise is that Yain is normally eating dinner around 19:30 with us, after that he gets some time to watch cartoons, and then around 21:00 or so he has to start to get ready for bed. 20:00pm is slap bam in the middle of all of this. For him to now have to be carted around on a freezing Sunday night is ridiculous. It is not so bad in her week, Wicked Witch goes everywhere in her little Audi. Us? We will have to go and get him by metro next week; we have to get the yellow line, then change over to the red line and then a 10 minute walk to his flat. Then we have to do the return journey. I can’t go with xavi as Emmeline will be in bed. By the time they get home, it will be time for Yain to go to bed. That is of course is wicked witch has given him dinner, and we don’t have to quickly prepare something. There is clearly no benefit in this arrangement to yaincoa so why has she suddenly decided on Sunday nights? To screw with xavi. However by doing this, she is actually hurting her son.
It doesn’t end there.
Monday 13 December: Xavi meets yaincoa at school to give him his nativity scene and his school diary. Why did we still have the diary? Well, Yain needs to have x-rays on his teeth to see if he needs braces or not. Wicked Witch has never taken him to the dentist and when we asked her to do this, she replied to Xavi ”this is your thing, you know more about it than me, finish what you started and no, she wasn’t going to make the appointment for the x-rays”. So we have to go and see the dentist in the hospital first and he will order the appointment for the x-rays. The hospital gave us the date of today and 16:20. Great, we can take him as wicked witch is working and we will be finished by 17:00 where we can either take him back to school to meet her, or she can meet us at the hospital as it is easier for her to get home in her Audi from the hospital than it is from school. However, we didn’t want to give her the school book the night before with the note that yaincoa has to leave early for the dentist as we worried that she was capable of removing this note from the book saying Yain wasn’t going. In the middle of the day on Monday we send her an email to say that Yain has the dentist and where should we meet her at 17:00, school or hospital? She sends an sms saying “he is not going to the dentist today, impossible, get an appointment in your week’. We respond with why not? It doesn’t affect her at all as she is at work, you she doesn’t even have to lift a finger. She cockily replies “I will tell you why, he is not going and that is it. Get an appointment in your week and stop annoying me” we respond again with “ok, and if we bring him directly to your flat after the appointment?” that was she really doesn’t have to do anything. Her response? “NO”. We have had to change the appointment and the next available date? 10 January. A delay of a whole month because she is being difficult and is trying to hurt Xavi. What she doesn’t care about is that once again, she is hurting her son in the process.
Tuesday 14 December: The fiasco about the vacations continues. She states she gets him on the 31st, we state she gets him on the 1st. apparently her lawyer says she is right, ours say we are right. She threatens to report us to the police if she cannot fetch yaincoa on the 31st. We tell her to go ahead. The problem is that the holidays are a little grey this year as the last day is Sunday and so we need to double check with our lawyer if normal rules apply for the changeover of yaincoa or not because technically it is still a vacation day. If we are wrong it we kill me to have to say to her that she can indeed have her son on the 31st knowing full well that he will probably spend another night awake at some ungodly hour in a totally unsuitable venue whilst she is doing god knows what. If we are right then we have to prepare ourselves for the next battle/ What is the next battle? Then one with yaincoa because i am sure that wicked witch will then try to use him to get her way. Something along the lines of “yaincoa, mommy wanted you to be with me, because we are going to this place and your little friend will be there and you can stay up late and have soooo much fun”. Isn’t life supposed to be easier? Aren’t parents supposed to put their children first and not use them as weapons?
Please say tomorrow is a quiet day . . .
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