No-one told me this part

Before I fell pregnant, this is what I knew about pregnancy symptoms: You get hormonal, you get morning sickness and, um, well that is it really.

And then I got pregnant!

For the first few weeks I just fell nauseous ALL day long but I thought 'This sux but at least I am not vomiting'. Then in week 6 I vomited. It was horrible, I hate vomiting! I am one of those people who don’t just vomit out their mouths; I also vomit out my nose which results in me not being able to breathe as everything is clogged up with vomit. My eyes start to water and then with all the heaving and retching, a bottom burp or two inevitably fall out. It is a horrible and embarrassing sight and I had hoped to be one of those lucky women who didn’t get 'morning' sickness. Apparently I was not to be so lucky, not that day nor the 3 times the following day. Thankfully I did not get sick every day, but about 3 - 4 times a week I did, so I was left feeling nauseous all day long and vomiting. The only time I did not feel sick was when I was eating! But I expected this.

What I did not expect was that every morning when I brushed my teeth, my gums would bleed a bit. A bloody sink was rather alarming to me, Xavi and Yaincoa, but after a quick consultation in my pregnancy book it turned out to be 'normal'. As was the aching teeth every now and then. They would ache one day and be fine the next day. Again, 'normal'. The blocked nose? Yep, on the list of 'normal' symptoms right above 'loss of bladder control'. I swear I was waking up like 5 times a night to have a wee. How was this possible if baby was only the size of an apple seed or something ridiculous?? Then there was the tiredness. I don't think that I have ever felt so tired in my whole life. I was falling asleep on the sofa during the 21:00 news and could just about manage to get out the house during the day! It knocked me for six! If all of these (and more) are normal, how weird is this pregnancy thing?

Then came the hormones. Oh boy did they come in like an explosion. To be honest when I had heard women blaming "the hormones" before, I thought it was an excuse. Oh how life has a way of coming back and kicking you in the arse to show you how wrong you were. My hormones were a nightmare, not me, my hormones! I cried more in the first 3 months of my pregnancy that I had in probably my whole life. I cried at the TV, I cried reading about the development of the baby, I cried when Xavi and Yain were really sweet to me, I cried when I felt a little sad, I cried when I was lonely, I cried for no reason. I spent a lot of time crying in a heap on the bed. The flip side of the crying was the rage. Yes folks, RAGE. Xavi once told me that I had turned into a dragon that jumps in an instance. What once used to be little lovers spats in our house turned into raging wars. I hate confrontation and am pretty good at biting my tongue especially in public. However if you were to watch the video tapes form the IKEA car park, on more than one occasion you would see me shouting at my boyfriend, dropping my bags on the floor (breaking several newly purchased items inside) and the crying. People would cycle past me a little too close for my liking and I would get the strong urge to push them off their bicycles as they went past. Then I would get behind the wheel and the beast would be truly free. No-one was safe. Everyone got abused; I used words I hadn't used since my days picking grapes in the deep heart of southern Australia. Strong, loud and often. My mother would have been ashamed, the Australians that taught me all these colourful words would have been so very proud. Eventually one day Xavi pleaded with me to relax (in the car at least). That hit home as Xavi is normally the stressful one!

After 3 months the hormones have eased up as have the symptoms. But my days of lying in a heap on the bed crying for no good reason have not disappeared. Oh well, Xavi once said he wanted to see the softer side of me, well looks like his wish has been well and truly granted!!

So Xavi went to school this morning to give Yaincoa his books as he slept with his mom last night only to discover that he wasn’t at school. We phoned up mommy S to find out why he wasn’t at school and she explained that he was vomiting so she was going to wait to see how he was before seeing if he could go to school. Xavi was worried and so he phoned again a little while later. By now it was about 10am. Turns out she had taken Yaincoa with her to work! She works cleaning boats for a boat company that sell boats, and sometimes she works in the office. Well, she had taken him to work and propped him in front of the computer whilst she worked. We decided to go and see how Yain was doing and I wanted to give him copies of my scan pictures to show him his little brother or sister.

So we get there and Yain looks awful! Apparently he has vomited several times. It would appear that he has a case of gastro! I had it the week before and it was awful! I showed Yain the scan pictures and unfortunately he showed S, and I had to go through the hell of having to make conversation with her when all I wanted to do was tell her where to go. Yain got worse and worse and by the time we left he had been sick a few more times. We told S that we would take him back to our flat where he could rest and she could fetch him when she was finished work. She put on her best Victim impression and with a broken voice thanked us ever so much for all our help. The week before she threatened to report us to the police for psychological abuse and take us to the judge and now all smiles and full of thanks?

We took him home and he just kept getting sick. At one point he vomited a little bit of blood which is when xavi decided to take him to hospital. Blood always rings alarm bells for me! The hospital gave him the all clear and we took him and his medicine home. Sandra fetched him that afternoon and the next day he stayed at home with her, still sick.

The following day, she sent him to school with a sensitive stomach after 2 days of vomiting and what did she give him for lunch?

2 sandwiches with chocolate spread!

Saltimbanco

Ooooh, Circ de Soleil’s Saltimbanco today!

We bought the tickets ages ago and decided to take Yaincoa and one of his best friend's from school, Coral. I was so excited as I have only ever been to one other circus in my life I think and that was with Xavi a few years ago! I had seen the Circ de Soleil on the TV and it looked amazing! The tickets were fairly expensive, but it is Circ De Soleil, and I think that it is something everyone should go and see once in their lifetime! So off we went!

So we met Coral up in Montjuic where the circus was and just having the two kids there made me think about the little bean growing inside of me and what my life will be now with children of my own!

Let me just say that the circus was INCREDIBLE!! The opening act was breathtaking, the costumes were amazing, the music made me laugh out loud and get a lump in my throat, the acts were faultless..... Everything was just amazing! I found myself sitting at the edge of my seat the whole time with a grin on my face! Xavi and I couldn't stop looking at each other to say how amazing something was, or to ask of the other had just seen something incredible. We were actually so wrapped with each other and the circus that we didn’t notice that slowly but surely the two little 7 year old in-between us were getting more and more bored with every act!! I felt so disappointed with them, and then I had to remind myself that they are only children and they can't really appreciate this kind of circus like we can! But eventually I did have to say something when they started to hide under the chairs!

They did enjoy it, but maybe not quite as much as we did, I think they would have been more entertained with some clowns, horses, trapeze artists and one wheeled bicycles!

After that, we took Coral back to her mom Alicia and then Yaincoa asked if her could sleep with his mom, Sandra that night. It was our last night with him, but as the Three Kings festival had passed he wanted to go and stay with his mom to get his presents. For anyone who doesn’t know, in Spain they celebrate the Three Kings more than Christmas. The three kings is the 6^th January and it is the day that the three wise men came and gave the gifts therefore over here it is the day that they give the presents to the children. Anyway, we couldn’t say no, and so he phoned her and we asked him to ask her if she could meet us half way. Of course she said no didn’t she? She will not lift a finger to help us ever. So back in the car and 30 minute drive to his flat. She came down to get him and as usual she had an image of ‘the victim’. I could not stand to look at her so I waited in the car!

Later that evening we phoned Yain to find out what the three kings bought him.

They (i.e. Sandra) bought a 7 year old boy an electric toothbrush and a mobile phone.

Normal huh?

The First Scan

I had my first scan when i was 11 weeks and 4 days. We had booked it for 09:50 in the morning. Great, I thought, plenty of time to get xavi’s son, Yain, off to school and then to get us on the metro and to the doctors. I forgot that if I am left in charge of any time planning, we are going to be late. It is best to leave it to Xavi, because that way we will get there early (sometime stupidly early, but better than ridiculously late!).

We were in the metro and we were stuck. The ticket man got on and I looked at his watch to notice that we had 10 minutes to get to the clinic. 10 minutes and we were stuck in a metro station, doors locked, train stationary. CRAP! I really could not imagine anything worse than being late to meet the baby that you are growing in your tummy! That would be the ultimate! We managed to get the doors open and ran up the stairs and out of the metro. Thank god we had to stop to flag down a taxi as the short run out the metro had left me with an almost asthma attack. I cannot believe how being pregnant knocks the wind out of you and tires you out so quickly!
We jumped in a taxi and noticed that the metro man’s watch had been quick, but I was still panicking. Thankfully Xavi took control and phoned the clinic, putting on his most charming catalan voice to let them know we would be late: thank god for him, if I had to attempt to speak spanish now, it would come out like soup!

Eventually we got there and rushed in, got pointed in the right direction, filled out all the paperwork and handed it in at the appropriate desk. Now I had heard that with the first scan, you had to have a full bladder. But none of the doctors had told me that, and as I needed the toilet, thought I should ask before ‘emptying out’. She said I did not need a full bladder . . . that could only mean one thing – this was going to be done internally! We sat down and I noticed about 3 or 4 other women waiting. ‘Well there must be more than one doctor’ I thought whilst I was checking out the other women to see if I could see how pregnant they were. Did they look good, or as worn out as I felt. Any other symptoms? Ah, a couple with a tissue there, perhaps we were all having nose problems. I noticed them doing the same thing of checking me out.

It quickly dawned on me that there appeared to be only one doctor. Our appointment was already 10 minutes ago, and nothing. Good god, were they serious! Was it really a good idea to keep nervous, hormonal first time mothers waiting for their first scan, their first chance to see their baby? Brave or stupid? I read the rubbish magazine I had picked up whilst running out the house. I started to tap my fingers, then my feet, then both. Xavi looked at me and took my hand (to be affectionate or to stop me from my tapping?) and told me to relax. The hunger set in and I managed to find a manky old babybel cheese in my bag . . . it would have to do! My appointment was now 35 minutes ago. A new women sat next to me with her partner. I don’t think I have ever seen a man look quite so scared in my entire life. Shame! She started talking and as she was american, I eavesdropped on her conversation. A short while later I wish she was speaking another language so I didn’t understand. She was going on and on to this poor scared man about everything from how she wanted to give birth, to names, to what kind of mother she wanted to be. I don’t think this guy managed to say more than ‘uh huh’, ‘yeah’ and ‘ok’.
The women who was waiting before us had just gone in to see the doctor. Wierd thing though, she went in with her partner and I guess her mother and father (or his?). Now call me old-fashioned, but would you really want your mother, let alone your father in the same room as you while you are having an internal scan?? Me and Xavi looked at each other in confusion.

The family emerged making comments about how they were not happy with the doctor and how she was not very friendly. Again, not sure how friendly I want the doctor to be whilst doing an internal scan? An hour after my schedule appointment, my name was called. Xavi whispered ‘hope we don’t get the same doctor then!’ We went through to the exam room (only one doctor, must have been the same) and I was very formally told to take of my jeans and my pants. I chose to remove my socks as well as there was no way I could gracefully walk across a room, past my smirking boyfriend, naked from the waist down with my socks on. I have a thing about leaving on my socks, it just looks dumb!

Up on to the table and it began. I wont go into detail describing this part because all you ladies know how it goes, and then men down really need to know the details! I looked up to the screen and hoped that I would be able to make out the baby and not just see a lump like all the scan photos I had ever seen before. I saw something move on the screen, and then I saw a head attached to a tiny body moving around. Oh my god! That was my baby. That baby was inside of me. I was really pregnant, there was a baby inside of me, and it was moving around having a whale of a time in my uterus! I got a lump in my throat which was very unexpected. I looked over at xavi and his eyes were shining. The doctor was a woman of few words, and she started to take measurements and screen shots whilst we watched our baby moving around, arms shooting out, moving around, in and out of focus, in total amazement. I then heard a ‘doosh doosh doosh’ noise. I asked the doctor if it was the heart, she smiled and said yes. Wow, the little dancing bean inside of me had its own heart and it was beating pretty rapidly! Again, total amazement and absolute relief when after xavi asked if everything seemed to be alright, she answered that everything was perfect. The emotions that I felt I did not expect to feel, as I had not felt that incredible strong rush of emotions up until this point. Perhaps because now I could see it was real! I had a little person setting up home inside of me!

The doctor gave us about 10 photos, and xavi is convinced that we got more photos than the other couples. And all the photos were for us! We expected that we would have to give them to the hospital, so like dumb and dumber we asked ‘all for us?’ We slowly walked out the clinic and past the glass doors that were the entrance of the clinic, and in the minute that we were out of sight I turned to xavi, jumped into his arms and he twirled me around while we laughed like school children. We were really going to have a baby together!

I got home and scanned the pictures into the computers. I printed one out, cut it down to size and placed it in my wallet. It might not be your conventional photo to carry around in your wallet, but hey, that is my baby and it makes my heart feel warm and my lips curl into a smile every time I look at it and i know that my little bump is safe and warm inside of me doing little flips, somersaults and cartwheels preparing to make the entrance into our lives . . .