Wasted trip to the Zoo

I think that whilst I was pregnant and my body was making little Emmeline, something went wrong somewhere between week 18 and week 38. I appear to have not manufactured whatever gene is necessary for my child to show any interest whatsoever in animals at the zoo!!! She totally lacks the animal interest gene much to my dismay!

It all began in the morning. I was at a loss as to what to do and then like a lightning bolt out of the blue, it hit me – let’s go to the zoo. I thought that it was a fantastic idea! I imagined little noodles face lighting up when she saw the giraffes, squealing with little baby delight at the monkeys and awestruck by the bears. I have way too much imagination and I do believe that what I was actually imagining was some piece of crap Disney movie, because these kinds of reactions from an 8 month old baby could only happen in the land of Walt!

The day started as it meant to continue, not remarkably well! Xavi and Yaincoa had things to do, so I got us ready and decided to walk down to the zoo so that Emmeline could doze off whilst we were walking and then wake up and refreshed for when we got there! Off we trundled. . .  

A quarter of the way there and Emmeline had eyes like saucers. Still awake.

Half way there and she was screaming her lungs out at me due to tiredness (everyone was looking at me like I was an evil mommy who had abandoned her baby). Still awake.

Three quarters of the way there she had given up crying and was now just listlessly staring at the walls of her pram. Still awake

When we got there (or more so, to the park at the entrance of the zoo), she started to wail at me again. Still awake.

I was screwed. I knew that if we went into the gym she would fall straight asleep – Murphy’s Law.

So I decided to walk around the park and in a last ditch effort I whipped out the emergency dummy and plonked it into her mouth. She decided to really push me by then playing with the stupid dummy and putting it in her mouth, chewing it, taking it out and waving it about as if she was about to throw it away! Silly cow!

I gave up and eventually just decided to go into the zoo and see what happened. 17eu later and we were in. I had put Emmeline into the baby sling so that she could see all the animals better, I had my camera out ready to start recording one of life’s beautiful moments, and I had a really dumb grin of a new parent on my face.

First up, an ostrich! It was right in front of us, it is from my home country of South Africa and it was huge. I pointed it out to Emmeline, used an appropriate sing song voice, went ‘ooh’, ‘aah’ and ‘wow’. Emmeline looked more amused at me than the big bird! So I shut up and just pointed. Nope, still grinning at me like an idiot! Took out the camera to at least get a picture of the stupid bird I had seen a thousand times and my dud daughter launched at the camera finding it much more amusing than the bird. I told myself that perhaps in her little baby eyes, the ostrich was camouflaged?

I was determined and so off we went. Next up: flamingos. Bright, big flamingos right in front of us, playing in the water! LOTS OF BIG BRIGHT BIRDS! Nothing! Once again, my dud of a baby was more interested in me and the camera than the wildlife that surrounded us.

Hmmmmmmm, starting to get an uncomfortable feeling . . .

I heard the monkeys and headed in that direction thinking they would definitely get some kind of reaction from my daughter. By the time I got there, Emmeline was snoring away on my chest! Silly cow.

So there I was, a lone adult (absolutely parched, with no water and no money and convinced I couldn’t pay for anything by card) pushing around an empty pram with her (increasingly heavy) daughter strapped to her chest fast asleep and snoring. Uncomfortable and thirsty!

Had I not have seen many animals before it could have been alright, but I spent 2 months touring AFRICA! I have seen the big 5! I have touched a cheetah; I have been 1 meter away from wild silverback gorillas, wild elephants and wild giraffe! I watched a hyena chase down a baby gazelle, I have seen whales swimming just off the shore in front of me and I have swam with dolphins! I have seen all of this in the wild, in their natural environments! And so for me, not only does the zoo not compare, it is also just a little but sad!

But there I was bidding my time until sleeping beauty woke up! Coincidentally, the lions were also sleeping, the panther was sleeping, the jaguar was sleeping, the tiger was sleeping, the hippopotamus was sleeping, the wolves were sleeping . . . . In fact it would seem that the only moron who was not asleep was ME!

Eventually Emmeline woke up, and I was buoyed on by new optimism! We quickly did lunch and then went over to the chimpanzees. There was only one and it was kind of far away, so when she did not pay much interest I thought it must be camouflaged again. How much can 8 month olds really see?

Then along came a lady throwing bread at the monkeys – something I am pretty sure you are not allowed to do but something that no-one cared about because with the bread thrower came 5 chimpanzees!!! And every time she hurfed bread at them, they performed tricks! TRICKS! Their arms would move and they would strike poses; they would clap their hands and move about – actual performing chimpanzee’s right in front of us! I had to elbow a few dodgy looking gypsies out the way so that Emmeline could see, and you know what my little angel did?? She launched herself at the camera every opportunity she got and when she couldn’t do that, she kept trying to grab some mans leather jacket!! She didn’t give a stuff about the performing chimpanzees, oh no, a leather jacket was way more interesting.

Everyone, please meet my dud of a daughter Emmeline.

Somewhere, someone is laughing their arse off at my expense.

The final straw came when she paid no interest to the giant elephant standing in front of us! I gave up, I put her back in her pram and I gave her the lid of her bottle to keep her entertained!

I eventually checked if I could buy something and pay by card and yes, I could. I bought water, coke, and chips and replenished myself! Managed at least to get a photo of Emmeline with some giraffe in the background to remember her first zoo trip! Although I think the picture of her trying to grab the camera out of my hand is a much more accurate picture!!!

What made the whole day worse? Whilst walking home, Emmeline spotted a pigeon. An average, every day, common street pigeon. What did she do?

Shrieked with delight . . .

p.s. update: at least we didn’t go 2 weeks later – mommy wolf escaped with her babies in tow and had several areas of Barcelona on alert whilst they rounded her and her little ones up to go back to the zoo!

Flying with a baby

The last time I flew I was 5 months pregnant. All I had to think of back then was being careful of my bump and looking after myself. The time before that was with Xavi on a little trip to UK to go and get the restof my stuff to bring to Barcelona. All I had to think about that time was organising my crap as quick as possible so that we would have time free to do some sightseeing, have a few drinks, dinners out and have fun.

This time I flew with my little 8 month baby girl. There was a whole lot more to think of and very little of it was about me! It was all about her. Packing was an arse ache but I did it! Getting to the airport was made super easy as my dad gave us a lift there. I would really prefer to not think of how difficult the journey on the trains to the airport would have been with a baby in a sling, a backpack, shoulder bag and wheelie giant suitcase all alone!

Anyway, so my dad took us there, and helped me in with my bags. He took care of Emmeline while I got us checked in and then we stopped for a coffee where once again he took care of Emmeline while I went to the toilet etc. So far everything was going swimmingly! We then found ourselves at security. I had a backpack filled with liquids, all Emmeline’s! 1 bottle of her water (125ml), 1 bottle of milk (125ml), another bottle of milk (240ml), her Apiritol (baby paracetamol) and then my lip cream. Ordinarily all this should be in a clear plastic bag, divided into 100ml bottles blah blah blah blah! I didn’t bother doing any of this because I knew that Barcelona was a lot more relaxed, realistic and practical than other places. And as I thought, when the security man sitting at his little x-ray table saw my bag go through, he raised his head lazily and looked over. I pointed to Emmeline and raised my eyebrows as if to ask if it was a problem? He shook his head and motioned all in one go that it wasn’t a problem and that I could go through! Fantastic! What was not so fantastic is that even with a baby strapped to my chest, they still made me pull off my boots so they could check them. I gave them an incredulous look of ‘really? Seriously? Baby strapped to my chest so this is kind of awkward!’ My look had no effect whatsoever and so I dutifully removed my shoes. The problem was that on the other side my slip on shoes that slid on so easily at home seemed to get stuck! So there I was in front of a row of 5 bemused looking security guards bending over trying to put my shoes on with Emmeline looking like she was going to slip out of the sling at any minute! I hid my embarrassment by looking down and starting a deep conversation with Emmeline whilst doing what I should have done in the first place – walk over to the chair and sit down to put on my shoes!

Once I had successfully put my shoes back on, we had to walk a million miles to get to the check in gate. There was a queue already! Poo! I flashed my baby at the Ryan smelly bum Air check in ladies hoping that one of them would say ‘ooh, I see you are travelling alone with a small baby strapped to your chest! Would you like to board before the rest of the people in order to get yourself and your baby organised without being in anyone else’s way’. They didn’t! They simply took my ticket and moved on. Crap, I was at the end of the queue. Poo! Thankfully the flight was not totally full and we managed to get a seat towards the back and by the window. The air steward gave me the baby seat belt as we got into the plane and told me to ask if I need help. Help? How hard could it be? It was for me! But thankfully I had a helpful lady sitting in the same row as me who helped me to put on this little contraption around Emmeline! She very nicely left the middle seat empty allowing me to use that seat to leave Emmeline’s many things on it. She spoke to me for a few minutes whilst we were waiting to take off, she slept the whole journey, and then she stayed with me until almost everyone had gotten off the plane to see if I needed help with my bags! The perfect person to have next to you! I declined her offer of help and loaded myself up with bags and baby and was the last person off the plane! Although being the last person off the plane and into the bus somehow meant that I was the first one off at the other side and one of the first ones to get through the doors of arrivals!

Then came the return journey. Security at Edinburgh was quite different to security at Barcelona. At both airports I had 3 bottles for Emmeline in my bag - 2 with milk and 1 with water. I also had her medicine and lip cream. At Barcelona I left everything in my backpack all organised for the flight and had no problems at all. However at Edinburgh it was a different story. There I was with the same 3 bottles all in a plastic bag in my hand along with her medicine and my lip cream. I had to put the plastic bag through separately. I knew that they would be a bit more anal about everything! Once again I had to remove my shoes despite looking at the lady with a look of ‘Are you serious?’ Especially as I had seen that not everyone had been taking off their shoes! So why me? Why the lady with the baby still strapped to her chest? Once again I imagine that the fuchsia baby sling must have terrorist written all over it . . .

The bottles went through and I saw the lady rewind the conveyer belt to have another look and quickly look up. I wondered if her heart had started to beat a little quicker when she saw so many uncontrolled liquids. Did her pulse quicken? Was she thinking ‘ooh, we might have a situation here? A highlight of my day! I will have a great story to tell at the dinner table tonight’ I motioned to her that they were mine and that I first needed to put back on my terrorist looking shoes and then I would be over. I came over and said they were for Emmeline. I had already prepared myself for a fight in case they said anything about me not being able to take the bottles on. But no, no fight, instead she simply made me drink a little bit from each bottle. Ridiculous. Firstly, do I look like a suicide bomber? Perhaps the tiny baby would indicate that I am not? Secondly, if I was on a suicide mission, the ENTIRE world now knows that airports test liquid. Even tiny villages in the middle of Africa are probably aware of this fact. So, I would have to be a pretty stupid terrorist to try get through security with my little liquid explosions and if I decided to give this a go anyway, surely I could just as easily divide my liquid explosions into several 100ml shampoo bottles? Anyway, a bic pen can be equally dangerous in the wrong hands, so chill the hell out with the liquid obsessions for god’s sake! Ridiculous!

By the time this whole thing was finished and I had to walk another million miles through this airport boarding had started on my flight. Again I tried to flash my baby at smelly bum check in ladies and again this failed miserably. Should have flown sleazy jet, even though they steal from you at least they let you board first! In the end I was one of the last people to get on the plane. And it was a full flight! I found a seat but I could not sit down because I had my backpack under the seat in front of me and there was no space for my other bag because all the other stupid passengers had taken up all the space with all their stupid hard suitcases! So I tried to find a stewardess who of course was nowhere to be seen! And they hadn’t given me the seatbelt for Emmeline. I was boiling and ready for a fight. Not normal in me. So I held up everyone if my attempt to flag down someone. Eventually I did and told her that I needed help as my bag wouldn’t fit in the overhead locker. She very ‘helpfully’ told me to put it under my seat. Yes you total waste of space, I am aware that is an option, however I already have a bag there! So she put my bag on the other end of the plane. Hmm, thanks, now it will be so much fun to try and find my bag when we are in Barcelona! I looked down and the Spanish man sitting there had this look on his face of ‘oh great, I get stuck next to the lady and the baby’. He looked like he was trying to find a way to escape, but alas, there was none! I still had no baby seatbelt and was starting to get pissy. The stewardess´s took their time about giving it to me, and all appeared to have been sucking on lemons before we all boarded. A Scottish girl then sat next to me and although she was very nice, this did mean that I was crammed the entire flight in the smallest chair in the world with a baby on my lap who spent the first hour trying to grab everything of the Scottish girl she possibly could and kicking the Spanish man at every opportunity. Eventually Emmeline fell asleep and I spent the rest of the flight dying from thirst and hunger, supremely uncomfortable holding up my sleeping baby whilst my eyes were getting heavier and heavier and unable to do anything to relieve neither my thirst, hunger or uncomfortableness due to the sleeping baby on top of me, the fact that my bag was totally unreachable due to the fact that the seats in airplanes are not so small I feel like I am in a chicken coop and even if I had managed to get money, I would have to sell a kidney just to be able to afford to buy anything on their menu.

Even though Emmeline is a pretty chilled out baby who doesn’t cry much, flying with a baby is not easy! No one thinks to let you board first. It is not because I think we should get special treatment, but it is in everyone´s interest to let people with kids get on first. There are things to organise! I had to make sure that I had her bottle, I had her dummy, I had a little toy, that she was strapped in, that she wasn’t too warm or cold. It is not as easy as others who simply walk on, switch on their mp3 and switch off their mobile. If we are able to board first, we can choose the seats at the back out of the way or the seats with slightly more leg room so that the huge amount of stuff we need can be with us and not in the overhead lockers where we need to keep getting things. Letting us on first keeps us out of everyone else way, because I know that a lot of the other passengers don't have the patience for us. I used to be one of them! Boy did karma come back and bite me on the arse for that! I know how some people looked at me thinking 'oh no, screaming baby the whole flight!' The stewardess´s didn’t ask if I needed help with anything not even one single time. I remember a time when their job was to help, not to just stand there trying to sell overpriced water and fecking lottery tickets. They actually made my flight worse, not better. It never used to be like that. There were apparently baby changing facilities in the toilets. Thank god I didn’t have to use them! Just the thought of trying to squeeze out of the chairs with Emmeline in my arms sent shudders of fear through my spine, let alone thinking about the rest. It was stressful, but we made it! I would obviously do it again, but this time I would definitely pay the extra and get priority boarding! Just another thing that Ryan smelly bum air makes you pay for, a service that should really be free. I remember when it used to be free, travelling used to be a lot more enjoyable back then!

Our Scotland Trip

We did it, we went to Scotland to see my sister Chantal and meet my nephew Zack! And we had a fantastic time! Let me tell you how it went!

Xavi left to go work down the coast on Monday, so I had a few days to get everything organised, and wow there turned out to be a whole lot to organise, starting with a bigger suitcase! I don’t know how I even thought I would be able to fit all of our stuff into the ridiculously tiny bag I had! It was not easy packing though. I am so used to just having to pack for myself, which is normally a pretty difficult task as I am a ‘just in case’ packer! This tends to mean that my bag gets filled up with stuff I never actually get around to using. Now that I have a baby to think about, I am full of even more ‘just in case’ than ever before – jacket just in case it is very cold, fleece just in case it is just cold, jersey just in case it is only a little cold, long sleeve tops just in case it is just breezy . . . and so on! But a remarkable thing happened that happens more and more now that I have Emmeline. I seemed to not think about what I needed or wanted or would have ordinarily taken to put Emmeline’s needs first. Normally I would have packed loads, this time I went with one pair of tights, a few long sleeve t-shirts and 2 jerseys. Emmeline of course had half her wardrobe with us just in case! The same was to be said with the bag that I took on the plane with me. Normally when travelling BB (before baby) I would take a fair size bag on the plane with me. I would need my music, phone, book, diary, magazine, water etc. This time the fair size bag I took with me was filled with nappies, change of clothing (just in case Emmeline graced me with an exploding poo), wet wipes, bottles, toys etc! What did I pack for me? Wallet, passport, phone! I packed like a man – the bare essentials!!

Well we had a fabulous time there! We started off by meeting my good friend Lynne the next day for lunch. I met Lynne in Australia and we have been the bestest friends ever since. We don’t get to see each other that often but she is a wonderful person! Over the next few days, Chantal and I went shopping, we took the babies swimming, we ate out, we went to baby shops together, we went sightseeing to the centre of Edinburgh, we went to have a look at a few possible wedding venues for Steven and Chantal, we went to butterfly world and we chilled out at home. I had an absolutely fantastic time with my sister, the best time actually. We chatted for ages about heaps of things, we gave each other advice about our babies, we laughed together and we just generally got on like a house on fire, something we don’t always manage to do! It was great! I also got to spend more time with her fiancé Steven, who I have met several times but not for any great lengths of time. So it was really nice for me to get to know him a little bit more as well. And yes, as I always thought, he is a lovely guy, laid back and chilled out, kind, funny and patient - perfect for Chantal. They make such a cute couple and seem to be perfectly suited!

And then there was Zack, my little nephew. Well actually I don’t think that I can really use the word little here as he is not! He is 4 months younger than Emmeline but he weighs pretty much the same and is the same length! He has big hands and big feet and I think he is going to take after his (tall) daddy! But what a character he is! I think that he was born with a frown on his face, this look that says ´what do you want? ´! This may be due to the fact that he was induced and eventually came out by c section. He was very probably still in the tummy because he was damned well comfortable, he didn’t want to come out, the world made him come out, and for this he looks at the world like 'damn you, I was comfortable, so leave me alone will you'. He is adorable! He looks at you all frowny when you go over and made funny faces and start to eat his belly, then he breaks out into this gorgeous little smile and gives you some little giggles. Then he looks at you like 'damnit it, you won, you made me giggle'! I love him! And he has a gorgeous smile and the most beautiful blue eyes ever! He looks at you sometimes with such curiosity and sometimes with total amusement and I would love to know what is going on in his little baby head! He has his own special baby smell and his own special looks and his own special noises that are totally different to Emmeline and equally adorable.

Then we put the two cousins together! They checked each other out with curiosity, the whole time Zack kept looking at Emmeline a little bit like 'who are you?' and the whole time Emmeline decided that it was acceptable to try and eat her cousin! I had seen it happen before, so when she reached out to gently 'grab’ his face I had to quickly pull away her grabby grabby hands whilst I had images in my head of her pulling out his eyes! She then lovingly grabbed his hands in hers and it looked at cute until I noted Zack´s hands going white. It seems Emmeline has an iron grip. She also turned out to be a little bit of a bully by stealing his bottle one morning! But they sat and played together and shared toys and had a great tie together!

Emmeline got so spoilt! Not only did she get new presents, but she got heaps of attention and play time from her aunty and her uncle! She never had a dull moment! It was great because they could play with Emmeline, I could play with Zack, or we could look after each other babies whilst the other was busy. Since Zack is the same size, I didn’t have to worry about packing nappies o anything as Chantal had all the baby stuff I needed. It made life so much easier but left me thinking 'crap, how hard will this be when we go on a holiday to a place where there isn’t already a baby? We will have to pack a lot more stuff!'

The holiday ended far too quickly and before I knew it, I was trying to squeeze things into my bag and freaking out as I knew I would be over the weight limit! Not too much of a surprise there thought, I did buy clothing, toiletries, and about 6 books, so I don’t know why I was freaking out! Oh that´s right, because stupid Ryan smelly bum air charge you 20eu per extra kilo! This on top of the fact that they charged me 20eu each way for Emmeline (even though she has to sit on my lap the whole time) makes me like them even less. We got to airport thinking that we had more than enough time to spare except that we didn’t imagine the possibility that Ryan smelly bum air would be checking in 5 flights at the same 3 check in desks. They were. Hence the million mile queue. Poo. Got through the queue much quicker than I had anticipated and before you knew it we were upstairs and I was being waved off by a sister who was very nervous about sending me off with no phone because if I had a problem, they wouldn’t be there and I wouldn’t have anyone to help me! Bless her, such a worry wart. The flight went without a hitch and when we landed although I was sad at having to say goodbye to my sister, I was happy to be back home. My dad was there and waiting for us and couldn’t wait to hold Emmeline! We got home and Xavi was already waiting downstairs for us! He was already hugging me hello before I had even managed to get out the car properly and the minute I got Emmeline out of the car seat, he only had eyes for his daughter! And I don't blame him . . .

Well, i just wanted to say sorry for the lack of blogs, but me and Emmeline are currently in Edinburgh, Scotland staying with my sister to meet my little nephew Zack!

We are having such a good time, and my little nephew is gorgeous!!

Will be back tomorrow, so will be catching up and posting many a long story!!!

Us

xxxx

Travel Document Rush

So looks like we are going to Scotland next week to visit my sister Chantal and my nephew Zack! He is 4 months younger than Emmeline and I have never met him before!

We were planning to go over there together, Xavi, Emmeline and I but Xavi’s job is very unpredictable.  We don’t know when a job is going to be accepted, and when it is accepted, he works Monday – Saturday which means there is no time for a holiday! So we have waited and waited for a free few days, but with no joy. We were going to go together in March, but in February another n=job got accepted and so March went out the window. Then the boat that they are working on now had to go to a different marina which means that xavi has to go and work down the coast for a week to 10 days. And so I decided to use this time to go to Scotland with Emmeline and visit them!

Then it hit me that if I was planning on travelling with Emmeline I would need to get her an identity document, her DNI! Freak out!

So it started by waking up at 7am to get ready and leaving home at 8:15 – Emmeline in the Baby Bjorn and my bag filled with milk, water, toys etc fully prepared for a long day! By 08:40am I was in the queue at the ‘Registro Civil’ (Civil Registry) to get Emmeline’s birth certificate. I was kind of hoping that having a baby strapped to my chest would give me some kind of advantage but I was too shy to try. Although the Brazilian man who was behind me was convinced that I should try and see if they would let me in first due to the fact that I had a baby. I meekly went to the front of the queue and asked the security guard if I had to wait in the queue just to get a birth certificate. That was my way of asking if there was any chance that I could jump the queue. The answer was that I did indeed have to wait in the whole queue, therefore No; I could not jump the queue!!

So we got her birth certificate and jumped into a taxi up to the ‘Comiseria’ (Police station) to get her DNI done. But first we had to get her photos done. This involved waking a very tired Emmeline – not a good idea! Eventually got the photos done and off we went, but as I got the comiseria, I realised that I had no money to pay for it, so back out to draw some cash. Back in we went but the lady at the front desk informed me that the ‘Padron’ (document stating where you live) that I have for Emmeline was out of date and that I would need a current one in order to get her DNI.

CRAP!!!!

So back in a taxi, down to the pardon office got a new pardon for Emmeline, back in a taxi and back to the comiseria. Phew!

Then came the 2 – 2.5hr wait. So much fun!!

Eventually we got called up and 10 minutes and 10euros later, Emmeline had her identity card!!

Yaay, we can go to Scotland!!

Car drama

I decided that today was finally the day to go and get the ITV for the car (it is like annual check up of the car to make sure that t is still safe and roadworthy). I have been dragging my heels about it since . . . October when the last one ran out! It is just a total schlep to have to do it and we don’t use the car that often anymore. Even when we go down to Valls to stay at the house or see Xavi’s parent, we tend to catch the train. Xavi’s brother died in a car accident when xavi was a teenager and I had a car accident in Australia where the people in the other car involved both died, so we are fully aware of how dangerous cars and roads are! For this we have no problem catching the train instead of driving, especially with little Emmeline. But alas, the time has come. Th weather is getting better and it would be nice to have the car ready for if we want to go somewhere for the day or the weekend.

I think the real thing that has been stopping me is the door lock. Something so tiny has become a huge obstacle for me. You see, the top of the door lock broke, actually let me rephrase that, xavi broke the top of the door lock! So when they door is locked, you can’t actually open the door from the inside as the lock is broken more or less in half. Now to me, this would appear to be a safety hazard – if there was an accident, the person on the passenger side wouldn’t be able to get out of the car. All I actually had to do was to stop in any mechanic and buy a new door lock. The car is parked in the parking of the marina where we used to live because finding parking in Barcelona is nigh on impossible! And paying for a parking space in a parking garage is much more expensive than paying for parking in the marina. But it does mean a 15 minute metro ride to get to the car! So the whole thing about getting Emmeline in her pram, get down to the marina to get the car, find a mechanic to get a new door lock (driving illegally the whole time as I have no ITV) and then actually having to go and do the ITV thing just wasn’t appealing to me! But as my mom was in Barcelona today, I decided to leave Emmeline with her and just get it over and done with!

I met mom at the metro and we walked over to the mechanic together as Emmeline was asleep in the Baby Bjorn, however for some unknown reason, the mechanic was closed! This posed an even bigger problem as the last thing that I needed was to be driving around (illegally) looking for a mechanic. So I did what any person would do, I super glued the two pieces together and hoped for the best!

I kept checking the door lock the whole way there, opening and closing it – the superglue appears to have worked! Although I was opening and closing it quite gently. If a big brute of man decided to do it, he may break it again. And so I decided, whilst picking super glue off my fingers and waiting in the car for my turn for the ITV, that if someone broke it, I would blame them! “But what did you do? How did you break my door lock? You gonna have to fix that you know!”

I was super nervous and figured my best plan was to play little girl lost, which I learnt from my very own mother and can work a treat when necessary. I got through the whole ITV without a single person either opening or closing the damned door lock

SERIOUSLY????

All that work and worry for absolutely nothing! No-one even touched the door lock, they didn’t even look at it!

Ridiculous!

Happy 7 Months!

HAPPY 7 MONTHS EMMELINE!

My little girl turns 7 months today. How did it go so fast? Where did the time go? It goes too quickly and I am worried that I am not going to remember everything!

Well as usual xavi had to work this morning, but thankfully not for too long. So Emmeline and I got ready and then met him down at the arc de triomf where xavi was waiting for us with Jimi. We all then headed over to Badalona to have a stroll along the beachfront, stop off for some tapas and then to sit on the beach for a little bit and take some photos. The weather was lovely and we stopped at a little bar that had a lovely terrace right by the beach and ordered a few tapas. Xavi knows me so well, as long as he orders me patatas bravas, he can order anything else he wants, just be sure that I get some potatoes! Scrumptious!

The beach was lovely and thankfully the sun decided to show her whole face just as we lay down our blanket! Emmeline seemed mesmerised once again by the water, the waves, the sand and the seagulls! I managed to get some nice shots of xavi and Emmeline and got some of Jimi and Emmeline as well.

Jimi then took some photos of us, and you know what I couldn’t help but notice when I looked at the photos later? I have GIGANTIC boobs! Where did they come from? They have always been slightly larger than some, but this is crazy! I am like a giant frigging milk storage factory! It is no wonder Emmeline turns her nose up at eating vegetables, she has ample supplies of the white stuff in me! Please tell me that they are going to shrink a little when I eventually stop breastfeeding for good? PLEASE!!

Anyhow, here are some of the photos from today

And my personal favourite . . .

Babies, Mommies and Coffee chaos

What a lovely sunny day today! Emmeline and I got up early (she seems to have decided that waking up early is acceptable) and we went down to Barceloneta to meet Katie and Elsie, Suzanne and Julia, Tsering and Elena and Andrea and Julia. We must have been quite a sight – 4 mommies with prams all heading for the beach front only to be joined by a fifth mommy and pram!! I must say that we do get our fair share of looks all seated around a ridiculously inadequate table loaded up with a various array or plates, trays, coffee cups, bottles, rice cakes, food pots, toys, dummies etc. and with babies of all about the same age propped on laps or stuck to our chests whilst somehow trying to eat a very fattening pastry and drink a decaf coffee without spilling it over our babies and managing to not let the babies grab everything and pull it off the table! It is an art! I love meeting up with the other mommies and I find it fascinating to watch the babies interacting with each other! They touch each other’s faces; they grab jackets, arms, hair – basically anything in grabbing distance. They bite, chew and suck their new little friends without any problems and when one cries, the others appear to follow suite quite shortly afterwards!

As for us mommies, we start conversations that get cut off half way the minute we have to quickly turn our attention back to our little ones. We try to find out about the other mommy and not just the other babies, but we tend to forget the answers, once again because we always have half our attention focused on our babies! There is some sort of general routine whereby we arrive, find a table and reorganise, juggle babies in order to go inside and order a coffee, attend to the little ones and make sure that they have something to keep them entertained (albeit only momentarily) relax just long enough to be able to gulp down a coffee and think ‘Thank god my baby seems quite relaxed’ before the inevitable. Your baby starts to get a bit irritable because she is bored, she starts to try to grab everything or put everything in her mouth, she starts to whinge, you look at the clock and realise that it takes so long to get ready, out the house and down here that it is almost time for baby to eat lunch . . . and you still have to get home. Before you know it, all the mommies are starting to pack up the bags and babies in order to head home!! We were seated a total of maybe 30 – 45 minutes!

Gone are the days of having a leisurely drink with friends, maybe followed by some tapas and perhaps another wine whilst watching the world pass you by. Everything is now scheduled; organised and controlled down to the last 20ml of milk that baby did not drink!! It is nothing like it was before, but then I never thought it would be!

Phone call with the other mother

Today was a home day for us. It was supposed to be uneventful, but it turned out to be not so uneventful in the end due to the other mother! It started with me sending her an email and asking for her help with yaincoa and watching what he eats as requested by the doctor (he is between overweight and obese and we have been trying to get his weight down for a year now, but the wicked witch does nothing to help us and does not believe the doctor). He has to complete a weekly ‘menu’ of what he has eaten each day so that he can become aware of healthy eating and so that the doctor can also see what he is eating. We complete ours every week, but despite sending the information to the wicked with about 3 times now, she has never done one, and continues to give him food hat he shouldn’t be eating (i.e., chocolate waffles, chocolate croissants etc). The doctor specifically asked Yain to complete it during his weeks with his mother, and for this I sent her the message via email and text. The following week when we got yaincoa and I asked him if he had completed his menu with his mom he said no, and when I asked why he told me that his mother had told him not to complete it, she didn’t want him to. This plus the fact that she phoned us on Monday to tell us Yain was sick, however when we got him home in the middle of the day, he was clearly not sick. She claimed he had a “temperature” of 37.2 and a really bad cough. He had no temperature and did not cough once, but quite ‘coincidentally’ he had not done his homework on the weekend that was due that day. I was fuming with her and sent her an email to say that although we try and try, she refuses to do anything for us or for Yaincoa. She made a few comments about me to xavi resulting in me sending her a message this morning. She phoned me and we had an argument. She started off trying to be all sweet and serene saying that she didn’t have any problems with us. After a few minutes she was calling xavi a liar ad telling me that we were damaging and traumatising Yaincoa. A few minutes she was childishly trying to make comments about my parents. After that she was then claiming that we are envious and jealous of her and her life. She then swiftly started to insult me and finally she finished the conversation by doing that thing we all did when we were twelve years old by putting on a mock sing song voice while you taunt the other person and then she put the phone down on my ear as I was asking if she as actually 12 years old. What did I say? I told her that xavi was no liar as the truth was that she has never taken her son to the dentist, or the doctors in at least the last 2 years and that she hasn’t paid his support. I told her that she will have to explain to yaincoa one day why she is leaving him with her parents after everything she has said about them, I reminded her that if yaincoa has any issues about body it is probably due to the fact that she told him he has a fat stomach and that at 7 years old she was teaching him how to do sit ups, or the fact that even though he knows he shouldn’t be eating chocolate doughnuts, she keeps buying them for him. I laughed out loud when she said I was jealous of her! I was shaking when I got off the phone but I also felt a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders. Wicked witch and I have spoken once before on the phone and it went more or less the same way – she just continually speaks and I lose all hope with life!

I realised something that I had slowly started to realise before. Wicked witch is incredibly childish! I think this is due to the fact that she has no argument, she is not right, and deep down she knows it although she would never admit it. So when you call her up on something, she tries to throw it straight back at you. Remember when you were in school and you would say something to someone in a fight and they would simply answer the same thing straight back at you? That is her. I also realised with great sadness that she will never ever change. As many times as we try with her and as many different way that we try, she remains the same. This is not good news for yaincoa or for us.

But xavi and I discussed all of this during this week and we have both realised that nothing will change with her. We are trying one more time with the lawyers and after that is she remains the same which I suspect that she will, then we will simply continue doing everything we can for yaincoa and hope that the good we are trying to do will combat the bad that she is doing. We cannot keep wasting our energies with her. I can only hope that one day she may realise all of this and start to do everything that yaincoa deserves from his mother.

Shaky start to swimming

WE FINALLY WENT SWIMMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But let me tell you it has not been and was not easy! Phew. Let me explain as briefly as possible!

So I have wanted to take Emmeline swimming pretty much from the moment that she was born. I bought her a swimming costume when she was about 2 months old and everything, but there were a few problems. She was born in July, a pretty hot month, but not as hot as August! I was on my 6 week 'you can’t do anything' quarantine after having noodle, and so since I couldn’t swim, we didn’t go swimming in July or August. Xavi and I were then planning on a little holiday in September to go down the coast where we could swim with her on a nice almost deserted beach in a little protected bay. Well, work came in and the holiday went out. So by now it was too cold for a little beach swim. I decided that we would go to a swimming pool and have out first little adventure that way. I had joined a gym, but their pool wasn't equipped for young babies. So decided to take her to Barceloneta gym's pool as I used to go to that gym. But then I got sick, and then noodle got sick, then me, then her, then her, then her. So by now here we were in February! I had a baby, a swimming costume and a swimming hat, but still we had not managed to get to a damned pool! I phoned Barceloneta and got the times, and finally today was the day!

Well, it took me 2 HOURS to pack our bag! I had to be sure that I had everything - swimming towels, extra little towel just in case, costumes, hats, shoes, clothing, noodles change of clothing just in case, extra jersey just in case, shampoo, moisturiser, fold up bag just in case, changing mat, nappies, cream, wet wipes, emergency dummy, bottle of water for noodle, bottle of water for me and then the usual, wallet, keys, phones etc. We jump on the metro and then have the short walk to the gym, so 25 minutes after leaving and 2 hrs after deciding to go, we arrive.

Only to get a surprise. And no, not a pleasant one.

I get to the entrance desk of the gym and ask the lady how  much it is for me and Emmeline to enter. She tells me that it is 10.50euro for me and 3.80euro for Emmeline.

WHAT??????????

Well that is just bloody daylight robbery. I let that sink in for a minute and then slowly pull out a twenty to pay her; I have after all come all this way! She looks at me weirdly and I can tell that something has been lost in our little communication. She asks me which pool I want to go to. Sorry but isn't that a little bit obvious with a 7 month old baby strapped to my chest? Not exactly going to the outdoor pool in the middle of winter now am I. So I point to Emmeline and answer 'which ever one is prepared for her'. She pauses and then she hits me with 'Oh, it isn’t open'

WHAT??????????

'But I phoned and you are open Monday to Thursday, 13:00 - 14:00' (don’t even get me started on the fact that it is only open one lousy hour on these days). She shakes her head slowly, 'No, Monday AND Thursday'. My face drops and I start to shows signs of disbelief and serious irritation. Then she "helpfully" asks if I was thinking of going to the big pool. Oh, the 50meter x 25 meter pool that is around 2 meters deep where everyone is swimming laps?? The same pool that is not acclimatised for a 7 month old baby??? The same pool where I cannot even touch the floor??

WHAT???????????

Stupid, stupid girl.

I reply no and I leave. By now I am fuming. I have wasted my whole day preparing and travelling to get here only to not be able to even wet my big toe. Pissing pisser.

Emmeline meanwhile is totally oblivious. Having woken up while we were talking to dumb and dumber in the gym, she was currently doing her best to eat her way through the Baby Bjorn. Good luck with that sweetheart! I remember that there is another gym close by, and so off we go. When we arrive, there is a lady behind the information counter. I see one of the little 'take a number' machines but cannot actually believe that I would need to take a number, I am in a gym! So I go up to her, 'Hola, can I ask a question'. She tells me that I can. So I start to ask her if they have a baby pool. I managed to say 'do you have . . . ' before she told me no, she couldn’t answer right now, she was busy. But I just asked if I could ask you something and you said yes! Did you think that I was going to leave thinking 'great, if I have a question, I can ask her' or did you think that I had a 16:00 question and not a right now question? So I patiently wait while she taps away at her computer. Eventually she looks up, smiles and goes 'yes?' so I start to ask my question again, when along comes a man who works there to give her tokens or something. She immediately turns to this guy to help him leaving my question hanging there only half asked. She comes back, smile and goes 'sorry, yes??' so I do the whole thing again. The phone rings and she picks it up. By now I am wondering if the cosmos is having a laugh at my expense. Eventually I manage to ascertain that they do have a baby pool, it is open, although Emmeline doesn’t have the exact swimming costume they want, she does have one that has plastic lining, so we can go swim. For 11.50euros. Just take my money already and let me swim please.

We go to the change room and then there is the dilemma of getting myself dressed while Emmeline waits on the changing table. A few well meaning grannies kept telling me to be careful that she didn’t roll off the table. Obviously this is possible, but Emmeline tends to not roll that way, and if I have one hand on her the whole time, please can someone explain how I manage to get myself dressed, her dressed, all our clothing in the bag, and the bags, shoes jackets etc in the locker that is over there? I am not Inspector Gadget with my own personal set of go go gadget arms.

Eventually we get into the pool! Oh she loved it. She was quite silent at first, and then she started to laugh and screech in delight! We went swimming up and down and she really seemed to enjoy it! So much so that she decided to try to drink the pool water like a little puppy dog! I worked up the courage to dunk her under the water with me and she was a little shocked but I quickly blew into her face, she breathed in and smiled about it! That’s my girl! We got some toys and played with those, until she decided to try and eat them. No, we don't eat the toys in a swimming pool where who knows how many other mites have been chewing on them. So we swam some more and had another little dunk under the water. She didn’t like that and made little cry faces as she had managed to swallowed water. So we didn’t do that again. I did notice that when I picked her up she did hold onto me tighter and when I had her sitting on my legs submerged up to her chest she did hold onto my hands very tightly. Bless her! We got out after about 25 minutes and she just seemed so content at having her first swim!

Now came the hard part of trying to somehow shower her and me! It resulted in me more or less showering her and shampooing her and me just dunking my head and body under the water whilst Emmeline sat on my hip making huge smiley faces at the ladies showering and making all of the go 'aah'. Got us dressed somehow managing to keep a hand on her most of the time for the benefit of the grannies whilst she chewed the hell out of her chew toy and occasionally stopping to make gooey smiley faces at the ladies in the change room. Flirt.

I got her in the Baby Bjorn and my little noodle was out like a light before we had even got to the metro! We had a shaky start, but in the end we had a fabulous time swimming.