The Big 30 - All downhill???

Today I turn 30.

I have wrinkles on my face, cellulite on my arse, stretch marks on my hips, a 10cm scar below my belly.

I don’t own a house. I have no job. I am not married.

On paper my life does not seem very good. Many people would be sad. Possibly even scared.

Not me.

I have wrinkles on my face from laughing so hard it hurt. I have cellulite on my arse from enjoying many happy meals with friends and family. I have stretch marks on my hips from when my body became a home for my unborn baby. That 10 cm scar in how my baby made her entrance into this world.

I don’t own a house as I have been too busy travelling various countries to settle down and buy anything. I don’t have a job as I am privileged enough to be able to stay at home looking after my daughter. I am not married because I do not need a piece of paper to know how much Xavi loves me or to confirm that I will be with him for the rest of my life.

My life may not look good on paper, but I feel like that happiest girl alive.

When I was in my 20’s and I heard people going “oh God, I can’t believe I am turning 30/40/50” and I always answered “ it is just a number you know” to which they looked at me smugly and said “hmph, you will feel different when it is your turn”. Well now that it is my turn I have been asked many times how I feel about turning the big 30? I feel fine about it! I still feel that it is just a number because that is all it is. I have heard people say that when they turned 30 they felt like suddenly they had to turn in to a adult, that they felt more comfortable with themselves and more confident, that they were more sure of themselves and who they were, that they didn’t worry quiet so much about the opinions of other people, that they didn’t feel the need to prove themselves to others. And on the negative side, they felt old, they felt like they should have done more with their lives by now, that they had expected to have more in their lives, that they felt the weight struggle would now become harder, that their biological clocks were ticking, that they should have a family/perfect job/perfect house by this point in their lives.

Why? Why so much expectation for simply turning 30? And it is not just 30, oh no no no! It appears to just start at 30. Let me not start on turning 40 and god forbid we should start on the subject of turning 50! I think some people actually have slight nervous breakdowns at the approach of these “milestones”

Again, why?

Yesterday I was 29, I had a pimple on my chin, I was insecure about my body due to the weight I gained during pregnancy that I still have to lose, I believed in guardian angels and that bullfighting should be banned worldwide. I did not feel the need to prove myself to anyone, and I did not feel like a child.

Today I turned 30. The pimple was still on my chin, my insecurities were still there, my beliefs remain the same, I do not have to prove myself to anyone, and I don’t feel like suddenly I have to become an adult.

Nothing changes just because you become a certain age. Change takes place over time. Change takes place depending on whether you want the change or not. Change takes place depending on your experiences, situations, the people you have in your life. Change does not place because you are 30, 40 or 50.

We get old; there is no way to change that. We get wrinkles, we go grey, that fat gets harder to shift, and things go south, way south. But we cannot change that. All we can do is take good care of ourselves and accept things gracefully. Thankfully for women the inventions of light reflecting make up, wonder bras and control pants help us in this ‘fight’ and I think perhaps this is because women don’t accept the aging process as well as men do. We worry about our appearance much more than they do, but that is a whole other blog story.

We should stop having so many expectations about what we should be doing and by what point in our lives, we should stop worrying so much what other people think about us, we should stop trying to prove ourselves, but most of all, we should live our lives to the fullest so that when we reach certain points in our lives, we are not left feeling regret and feeling like we have done nothing with our lives!

Forget if you are turning 30 or 40 or 50. There is simply yesterday, today and tomorrow, make the most of it and forget about these ridiculous hang-ups!

image taken from www.elderoptionsoftexas.com